Clever Mr. Crow

This was written in response to a reaction to my behaviour after a four year relationship crumbed. As the situation unfolded, I analysed his behaviour within his social group,his mannerisms & ego.

 So Mr. Crow, as a stereotype of the gothic. 

I will heed your tedious logic. 

Play out the role you have designed and foresee for me. 

Be the broken and despaired so you will leave me.

Again.

 So you will always be known as competent Mr. Crow.

Afflicted by this tragedy but who will glide away dramatically.

As Mr.Crow soars towards a tomorrow which he carries no guilt towards.

He will remember the weeping girl that he had to leave behind. 

Just for today. I will be her again.

 I can pretend. As I have already mended. 

Author's Note

This is my second draft of this.
Mr Crow is one of my favorite creations and I want to immortalise him properly.

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

It was interesting to get the background to this piece. We have a big tree with lots of crows nests and I have developed a bit of a relationship with them! I really think you've got a great idea using the crows as observers but think you do need to do a bit of work on this - it doesn't quite hang together.
'your' should be 'you're' (for you are)
'you or believe' doesn't make sense
the last verse doesn't quite work for me
I don't think you've made the poem really reflect your introductory note,
To sum up - the idea is great and well done but needs a bit work
Regards, Alan

[Hannah Morgan]

I totally agree with you. I have to make a confession, I made this up when slightly on the intoxicated side because I was angry at 'Mr Crow'. So I was probably still blind to the mistakes in sober light lol
Thank you so much Alan and I will work on making it better.
Please feel free to read my other pieces and review. I want to get all the support I can get.
Hannah :-)

[alanwgraham]

Don't worry Hannah - we are all crows in the same tree on this site!
Alan