The Illusionist

Why is it so hard to let go?

She was an illusionist. 

She was able to conjurer an Angel with the spirit of a cynic.

Deliverance came with the price of shattering self-resilience. 

For she was a junkie, A little girl who slept in the shadows of her stolen innocence.

On a scale from one to ten her amount was 'zero'

I like to think the world viewed her as more.

Overnight selling herself became easy.

People had bought the concept of her from the beginning of time.

She sits alone drinking poison hoping to kill you.

 It is hypnotic how she is transfixed on the closeness of closure.

But she can't even get close to it.

I have convinced my voice to deceive the world.

Silence has a lease when it comes to the bitter truth.

Cover every mutilation, track mark and dare not to smile if your missing teeth.

Society accepts nothing less than an appearance that resembles perfection.

Did you know I was once seven feet tall.

Till the expectations made me feel small and inferior.

She said faith was human nature and doubt a foreign element.

Yet she’s paralyzed by the sensation of uncertainty.

The day she decided her mind was a prison,

was the day she realized her body was never her own.

I am forgetful, I guess that means pain is a paradox.

In the end I enslaved my own free-will in the chaos of disease.

She haunts the memory of former things, 

though her bones were never buried beneath the tragedies of her youth

She promised herself she would find hope in the remedies inside a pipe.

The sad part is she believed there was no way out.

Captive to a habit that takes more than it gives.

That’s the insanity of it you cannot escape hopelessness.

By treating it with the strike of a match.

The flame only brightens for a second before its distinguished. 

By the horrifying darkness.

You can either grow thinner to the point you disappear.

Or you can accept that Ophelia felt both grief and love.

And often times that is just how life goes.

 

Reviews

[willweb]

The personalized feeling of this piece weighs very heavy on me as I read. Not that that's a bad thing, it just means I believe I can feel where this is coming from. I can see both sides and I can place myself on one of those. It is hard to let go when one truly believes they are in love...love is powerful and when it grabs you, it does not want to let go whether it is real or not. This piece sounds like a letter someone wrote to themselves. The emotions were huge in this and I think you did a fantastic job writing it end expressing these emotions. I would like to see more from you. You are very talented.

[Michelle Renee]

Thank you that means a lot coming from another good writer such as yourself!

[emily.c.]

I love the word play around vision and illusion in your first section. Very entertaining start! Feels more hectic and chaotic towards the end as the sections get shorter. Lovely read :)

[Paris Hlad]

Hi, Michelle:

Your use of Van Gogh's, Starry Night, is a dead giveaway both about your intelligence, and to a degree, the way you experience life. I am presumptuous and have you pegged as a personalist and woman of God who pursues the logos. That you are highly intelligent and sensitive to each nuance of what you pursue makes the quest unbelievably difficult, wondrous, and ultimately necessary. In a sense, it all tells you why you are here: Yours is a meaningful life, and the responsibilities that attend such grace are exacting.

Please alert me to any new lines you compose, and I will respond, as best as I am able.

[Paris Hlad]

Hi, Michelle:

Your use of Van Gogh's, Starry Night, is a dead giveaway both about your intelligence, and to a degree, the way you experience life. I am presumptuous and have you pegged as a personalist and woman of God who pursues the logos. That you are highly intelligent and sensitive to each nuance of what you pursue makes the quest unbelievably difficult, wondrous, and ultimately necessary. In a sense, it all tells you why you are here: Yours is a meaningful life, and the responsibilities that attend such grace are exacting.

Please alert me to any new lines you compose, and I will respond, as best as I am able.