Being an Introvert at its Finest

The start of a story about being an introvert and some things I have experienced put into a fictional perspective.

The elegance of communication among species is unremarkable. A few words here, a small glance in a direction, the slight turn of a hand, the twitch of tail, the wrinkle of a nose, letters on a page, and the list could go on forever. It is hard to comprehend every imaginable way we communicate with others, no matter the difference in chromosomes.

 

Immersing myself in all of this occasionally takes a toll. Imagine analyzing everything around you, taking in all of its beauty. Thoughts emerging from my finger tips like lightning but to others they vomit from their mouth, most uncensored. How I wish to be so blatant with my thoughts, it would make life easier wouldn’t it?

 

Let’s dive into the life of an introvert. Yes, this sounds silly. Why can’t I just tell people how I feel, do what I want, and live life to its fullest. Well, not all signs of communication can always be so blatant. Maybe that shy guy next to you wanted the last pudding cup in the cafeteria, but you grabbed it not acknowledging all of the signs. Now he goes through the rest of his day without that tiny blessing that was disguised as a delicious chocolate treat. You didn’t see him staring it down, impatiently tapping his foot as he anxiously thought about the various outcomes of whether he got the pudding cup or didn’t. As you reached for it, his words wanted to reach out to tell you that he needed it. He needed its succulence to get him through the day, when he was going to be ignored by his fellow classmates. Or maybe to get him through all of his classmates asking him why he doesn’t talk to them. Instead, you took the pudding cup and thought nothing else of it. It tasted good, you wouldn’t deny that, but you throw it quickly in the trash and race to your friend group who welcome you with cheerful gossip. He decides to get nothing in the lunch line, then he is questioned as to why he even got in line in the first place. His words flop around like a fish being reeled in, then they laugh and walk away while he just sits down on the edge of the table waiting for lunch to be over; just staring at the table. When it finally rings, he gets up and continues his day with great disappointment over that tiny pudding cup, but you wouldn’t understand that would you?

 

The girl in the corner notices, she understands. She knows how it feels to not be able to express herself, you saw her cute shoes in the bathroom. No, she wasn’t fixing her hair or doing her makeup in the mirror like you were, but instead eating her lunch in the bathroom. She had been in front of you in the line, and saw that he had wanted that pudding cup. You had wondered why she skipped over such a treat, she left it for him. Didn’t you see her look at it, then glance at him with the tiniest hint of a smile? Of course not, how could she have ever picked up on his need for that sweet treat when you never second guessed it.

 

This shouldn’t make you feel bad, you just don’t understand and maybe they don’t understand that. He went through the day seeing you with your friends smiling and whispering in class. To him those whispers were about him and that god forsaken pudding cup. His thoughts wondering around the idea that you took it to spite him, just so you could laugh with your friends about his silly dependence on that pudding cup. The snickering gets louder to him, but all your talking about is how cute those shoes in the bathroom stall were.  She sees him looking uneasy but doesn’t know how to tell him that its okay, you understand. He raises his, asking to go to the bathroom but the period ends and you didn’t see him come back. You think its odd and then see those cute shoes again, slowly walking around the past the perimeter of the entrance to the boy’s bathroom. As you walk past her, you yell cute shoes. She shutters a little at your tone of voice, and barely whispers a thank you but you didn’t hear it. Her head drops back down to her shoulders, finding nothing upon her quick glance into the boys bathroom, then she shuffles off to her class.

Author's Note

Anything grammatical please tell me, it was quickly typed while I had it on my mind and it is just the start of a story I would like to continue. Feedback always welcome.