I want to write again..

 It's been over two weeks and I have not been able to write something constructive and this is the longest I have gone empty of thoughts and devoid of words since I got into writing. Between words and thoughts, there's always one lagging behind. Sometimes, it's the thoughts that don't collaborate and sometimes it's my words that fail to express my thoughts the way it gives the correct essence of what I'm holding inside, yearning to express it out.

 And the damage the whole thing does to my me, feels beyond repair for so long, till I finally find a way to bring both together with a balance of expression and the message that's being conveyed.

 But for now I have not been able to find a way to bring it together and here I am, about to enter the third week.

 Writing this anxiety down while counting my days of hollowness pains me. I reckon, have I forgotten the language that I've been studying since I was four or have I lost my memory of everything I ever wrote or read for whenever I hold the pen to write, it feels like I'm taking my very first step at it and I have no clue of having it done before. It reminds me of the fear I held when I was writing down my first piece. The fear of self disappointment! Yes, I feared my own judgment. I remember how much time I had taken to muster up courage to write down my very first writing and greater courage to make it public.

 Fortunately, I regret neither of it. However, it hurts me going through all that, all over again to find new courage to write once again.

 I have increased my reading time, and I read with a greater focus now to grasp any idea or anything that might click. But nothing does!

 And if anything does, I feel more helpless to take it ahead with my personal vision, unlike before.

 I feel stuck. I want to write. I want to write, desperately! I don't know how to overcome the mighty obstacle that's sucking the soul out of me.

 An anxious voice inside my head tells me that may be I'll never get to write again. Only if I know how to silence it..

Reviews

[lawrence bear]

I have gone months without writing. Although my thought process is always rolling. I am sure you see ideas roll in your head and as for me i cannot jot them down. Maybe carry a pad and pen and scribble little ideas down. Just because youre not writing doesnt mean youre not writing. Thinking counts as writing. But sometimes we need a break and on a spur i am sure your words will pour out. And those stories will come alive. One day at a time my friend. You have spilled words already in this piece. Use those emotions towards your next piece that comes to mind. Take care and try not to worry so much.

[Long Whispers]

I do that. But it feels like I have lost the power to express whatever comes in mind, rightly. I just can't wait to get over this. Thanks for the words, though. I strongly feel motivated by it.

[Wajiha Nayeem]

this is an amazing write...i loved this

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I think the more you're afraid of writer's block, the more it would wrap itself around you tightening its hold. So the first step would be (in my opinion) to embrace it and like you said increase the reading time. The more you read the more you'll get inspired. I find myself delving more and more into other people's works, searching for inspirations and it has always helped me.
The fact that you wrote all this out is the main thing.
Just keep on hanging there and never lose hope 😊

[Long Whispers]

Yeah, I'm hoping that whatever I was holding inside, I let it out in this piece. Perhaps, it were these words that were blocking the way for rest of the words I have yet to pen down. And now that I have finally let the toxic anxiety out, I'll find my words back again!
Thank you so much for leaving such uplifting words. :')

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm sure you will! 😊 and you're welcome 😇

[matrixmark]

Writers block..been there and it's not a nice place. The terrifying blinking cursor a the top left of a word document is horrible to look at. But as you say - Increasing reading time helps nourish the creativity inside each and everyone of us - at first it may not click BUT then mark my words - something usually does. It can come from the most strangest of places BUT it will come. This piece I can imagine was a way to get out the frustration deep within.

To close - You have done a great job in putting a well though and well structured piece out there.

Kudos to your.

Mark.

[Long Whispers]

In two weeks I had not been able to write down anything. Nothing else clicked! So last night, I decided to take a shot on my anxiety and let all my frustration out here.

Thank you so much for giving it your time. This means a lot!

[matrixmark]

Its a horrible feeling and i do hope that by writing this piece, a little bit of the frustration has been released.
I really do mean that - i know how tough it can be.
Mark

[Najam Us Saher]

I can relate to it. I think most of us can. I do feel the same sometimes. I Loved what you have written about not finding the accurate words to describe how you feel. I can understand that.

[Long Whispers]

Yeah, it happens a lot but this is the first time it has been for so long. This time it's sort of scary and I'm praying it ends soon!

[Najam Us Saher]

It will end soon....don't worry.