We Need To Talk

That moment when you can no longer ignore the shape of things in what you thought was your relationship

We need to talk…

Or at the very least I do…

I have sat and listened long enough…

Now it’s my turn to stand…

Storm clouds are hovering…

There’s a chill in the air…

Through my bones into the marrow…

Rain is about to fall…

Deafening silence of radio proportions…

Answers with question marks…

Illusions…confusion…second guessing…wondering…

On the outside looking in…

I hear you saying what you need and what you are not…

Oh, you’ve made that loud and clear…

You’re not a project, a charity, something to be fixed…

All of which you have never been looked upon as…

Let me tell you now what I am  not…

That you would have the eyes to see and the ears to hear…

Listen now! Hear me clearly…

I will not repeat myself…

I am neither part time nor am I downtime…

A dirty little secret to be tucked away and hidden…

I am neither empty headed nor a plaything…

An inanimate object for others’ amusement…

I am not now nor have I ever been your enemy..

My heart has only sought to love you…

Not to hurt you…

I am neither a dime-a-dozen nor one in a million…

No! I am once in a lifetime…

The mark my soul leaves is an indelible mark…

One not so easily erased…

Does perfection grace me? Absolutely not…

Hopeless flaws clumsily stitched together by the very best of intentions… 

Do I seem to you a bit much? It’s quite possible that I am…

Let me share a little secret about that…

Yes indeed! I overthink too much…I know I talk too much…

Guess what else?

I also listen too much…I care too much…I love too much…

When I love…I love deep…hard…completely…unconditionally…unashamedly…

I don’t know how many more ways I can prove myself…

I think I’ve been doing just that…

I don’t know how many more ways I can show you

Love doesn’t have to hurt…

That your scars are beautiful…

That I am not a reflection of those before me…

That their sins are not mine to bear…

And I will not carry them…

I don’t know how many more ways I can show you

I love you…I love you past anything I’ve experienced…

It is you…it has been you…

You’ve had my heart since the beginning…

But you know this…you’ve always known this…

Now what are you going to do with it? 

I do not expect perfection nor require every detail be shared

We both have chapters we don’t want read

All I ask…all I have ever asked…

Talk to me…talk with me…and after we’ve talked

Show me…show me…and show me again…

As my heart has done for you…

These words of mine I now leave with you 

To think on, to ponder, and yes! Consider…

And I’ll hold space as I always have…

Amid the radio silence…

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

' Consider…

And I’ll hold space as I always have…
Amid the radio silence…

So many reasons, positives and otherwise as if trying to decide what to write, how to explain to yourself perhaps. I had to go back now and again, trying to work out whether or not you were walking a steady path, trying to find a way in or out a possible decision! Perhaps that was my tiredness being too much, because, my friend, you write with great assurance.

'I do not expect perfection nor require every detail be shared
We both have chapters we don’t want read
All I ask…all I have ever asked…
Talk to me…talk with me…and after we’ve talked
Show me…show me…and show me again…
As my heart has done for you…'

Perhaps that last line says it all, at last. Quandary solved. Should I say 'CONGRATULATIONS'! I will because that is a great piece of loving!