Loner...

It is a long poem, please have patience to read it till the last line.

I have not seen you socialing,
I asked this man one day.
Who always talked of love,
But in a melancholic way.

On asking, he told me,
The story of his life.
Joyful sagas of love,
That always gave him strife.

At first I fell in love,
With a girl I saw in dreams.
Blessed with average beauty,
But her virtues were supreme.

Humble on yonder side,
Stood I with a red rose.
Forgetful of our standards,
Just ready to propose.

She ditched me and my heart,
started to ache a bit.
Then came in life,
A lady with, quick witt.

Her cheerful attitude,
Rid me from my sorrow.
We liked each other secretely.
Confession? Left for tomorrow.

And when the day arrived,
I thought I'd make her mine,
Our ways got deviated.
Guess we wasted too much time.

As my wounds started to deepen,
And I almost lost the hope.
Love struck my life again.
I got no time to cope.

An artist understood,
Another artist's pain.
Friendship was in hand,
And there was more to gain.

When it was safe to say we were,
more than friends... You know!
That hippocrate fell for looks,
And left me for a foe.

A move made too quick,
And a moment streched too long.
Disolved the pain of my mind,
In first two verses of this song.

Diabolic was the blow,
That fell last on my heart crying.
Thrice unlucky in love,
I was tired of trying.

Not every girl is wrong,
While I am always right.
This is a false impression,
I cannot have this pride.

Tears sparkled in hs eyes,
As said this the poor mourner.
I was meant to be like this,
For I am a lifelong loner...

Author's Note

It is the first draft and first attempt at poem that is long and tells a story.
Any suggestions for betterment are welcomed. :-)

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I just reread this, i wanted to leave another review because its well worth reading till the end, and well worth another review :)
I love this story, about all the loves of a mans life, and every story about every woman he feel in love with.
How did you come up with this?
Still sad and heartbreaking piece though.
Amazing write, gonna add it to my favorites :)

[Penny]

Tenkew cimmy. It is your review that has not only motivated me but made me feel having achieved something. And about the inspiration... hmm.. that would be another thing I talked about in my e-mail. Ha..

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

You have already emailed me? i haven't gotten it hun.
Your welcome :)

[Penny]

No I havn't. Network is very weak. But I'll e-mail you really soon. I can't wait to talk :-)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

i cant wait either, but i will have to get back to your email tommrow, as much as i dont want to go to bed i should. Its 5:30 am :P Im such a night owl, ima get up soooo late tommrow haha, i wonna stay up and write all night

[Saddam]

you write beautifully, as me this is awsome because i have faced it... but life is on.

[Penny]

Thnx ssadd. Frankly me, u & everyone hs faced dis at least 1ce in their lyf but v all r moving on.

[Saddam]

true...but I think my fate always stand again me.
thanks

[Penny]

Anytime. D best thing about pain is dat it brings u close 2 strangers till empathy ties u in frndship

[Laminators Dubai]

sad but entertaining for sure.
thanks for the good read!

[Penny]

Thank You glitch. Its good see that somthing grey is well liked.

[Laminators Dubai]

you must be kidding! i love dark writes well why won't i? im BPD! haha
keep writing...best of luck!

[Penny]

Tenkew. Wats BPD?

[Laminators Dubai]

leave it.........not good

[Penny]

K. If u say so. Take care :-)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I love this... it was a sad little story though... about a man that just keeps getting hes heart broken.
I wonder if he even does find the one.
I loved the rhyming, the way it flowed, and the whole meaning to it :)
Great write :)

[Penny]

Tenkew cimmy and to answer ur question, in this poem loner doesn't get anyone but in reality i think someone with a heart broken so many times cannot get love in romantic sense but he gets exceptional affection from friends.. and thnx again for the rewiew.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your most welcome anytime :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You have written this beautifully penny.You have expressed this man's bitterness and sadness about love that never treats him right.Only thing the word you spelt"hippocrate" is "hypocrite". Otherwise "excellent" sy I:)

[Penny]

Tenkew vidya and thanks for pointing out the mistake, i didn't knew about it actually. And thnx a lot for encouraging me yet again.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome penny it was my pleasure:P

[Penny]

:-) :-)