Mourn

my ramblings again...

    It is winter. A new year is coming. Still nobody knows you... Just me. I see your shadow sometimes. Away from the stars and sun. The rain and breeze. You lie somewhere dozing in darkness. Spent of your pleasures, stolen dreams and lies. Spent... But at what cost? Worthwhile in what existence? Lost... I cannot reach your dreams, and there are no bread crumbs to lead you back. Yet you still reach mine. It aches. Quietly. Alone. The only way I can.

     I close my eyes and whisper your name. My prayers. And nobody knows you... Just me. I saw you. I see your shadow still sometimes. You are the neighbor of nothing but I see you through your shadow. The way soiled, wind blowing ashes and filth across damp, sweaty skin. Across my face. Now you cannot see the sun. Dragging it's moon like an echo. You cannot see my bruised heart go up in flames. My skull... My innocence turned to smoke. You do not see my scars of plenty. My eyes without light. You wouldn't have cared anyway. You have gone. You chose. You deemed them better. You made this so.

     It is over for you. I cry. Tears leaving trails in the soil and ashes on my cheeks. It is over and still nobody knows you... Just me. I Saw you. I still do sometimes. Your face and form drifting over me like a reflection on water. Your shadow... My stones to bear. Weight without substance. There are stones in the oceans that no one ever has or will ever see. There is a shore and I have people waiting. The hopeless, the bold.... All suffer the cold alongside those who have frailties and those with nothing to hide. All hauling their hides to heaven.

     Nothing comes back. In the silence only I know to whisper it. I whisper it and ache. I miss. And still nobody knows you... Just me. I saw you. I see you still sometimes... Your shadow. It makes my breath burn like dry timbers and kindling. The ashes fall like sunlight. I listen to silence and my eyes fill with tears and soot. On my knees begging... I begged you too... Remember? No. You are the neighbor of nothing and you never cared.

     Now you have only your shadow. The places you've been, that bore witness your deeds, have given it back to you. Still nobody knows you... Just me. I saw you. I see your shadow sometimes still. It came to my bed. It sat on my shoulder and watched while I slept and whispered of all the places now empty of you. But your shadow is yours. I've told it so. I cannot carry it with me too long. It's too heavy. It wearies my steps and threatens to drag me to depths unseen. Away from the stars and sun, the rain and breeze. In darkness and nameless silence... I cannot join you. The neighbor of nothing and you never cared. No one knows you... But I saw you. I saw your shadow. I see it still... Ok... For just a little while.

Author's Note

Have you ever conversed with a ghost? That you loved dearly? There are about 50 variations of this running around in various notebooks. Have at it.

Reviews

[Tennessee]

"Your shadow...my stones to bear." I liked that line. Something so light as a shadow with something as heavy as rocks. But help in mind a bear is an animal living in the woods that can eat you. It almost makes me think that you are talking to someone that isn't real, a fictional creation of your brain. Not bad nice sense to it, thought I'd stop by anyways, you have read almost all my stuff. Check you later.

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you Tennessee. Stop by anytime. I'm glad to see you.