Constrict

ramblings...

How do I ease your pain? How do I open you

and let you see light in all your darkness? Is it

not the touch of my lips to yours? My hand on

your skin? The begging in my eyes to be held and

trusted? To be loved.
I watch your eyes for hints of joy... glimmers of

pleasure... a spark of excitement... for ways to

find that one ember I can breathe to flame...
I have yet to succeed. I only succeed in short,

simple, pleasure... fleeting and gone... as are

you... touching my heart and fleeing... leaving

only your lingering smell and feel on my skin

and your taste in my mouth... your weight on

my chest. A weight I will gladly carry with me

my whole life...
 I hold you as long as I can... feeling you draw

close... feeling you cling... But it never seems

close enough... I just cant get close enough even

with you pulling at me... I find myself wishing I

could just tear a whole in my heart for you to

crawl inside... to keep you safe... to keep you

close... to keep you... To fill this space inside I

made for you... I rearranged the furniture... I

picked up my dirty laundry... I even put my

green fuzzy slippers under the bed... I'll move it

all for you...
I lie here looking at you... watching you sleep...

watching... listening to your breath... feeling the

rhythm... wishing I were a python... an

anaconda... embracing you, surrounding you,

pulling you to me tightly... a clutch you couldnt

slip... wishing you werent a dream of love...

wishing you werent a glimpse of possiblities and 

hazy wants that I cant pull close and wrap

around me... like a small blanket that you

wrestle and stretch that never quite covers...

something is always exposed and cold... but that

is what it is... my words, my actions... just that...

mine and mine alone... youre not buying today...
So I constrict my arms around you... You'll

never need again...