a moment of conscience

Tears of joy I know them no more
All I had were tears of pain, grief and another that was caused by the one I adore
I'm about to lose my faith on this night
My soul was crushed by a thought of great might
Little were the times when I felt good
But alas during them I understood
Life doesn't like me, it was a mistake to bring me
And no matter how much I try it won't let me be
I thought I had my parents to blame
But they raised me and made sure I was treated the same
I have nothing superior in me nor about me
Because whenever I look at my reflection I curse the thing that I see
I had the time of my life when I met you daughter of the sun
It felt like time has stopped and it just won't run
But life saw that and cursed it
And wished that it could incinerate the day when we met
I feel I've lost every will to live
But all I needed was for a shining star who knows what she should give
I reached this point when I was thirteen
And suicide was the only thing I had seen
I made a mistake by using a weak drug
But unfortunately, now I know what I have to chug
Help me god, you're there and you know my pain
Send me something to break off this damned chain