Rambling, Drifting Thoughts

Rambling, Drifting Thoughts

A Poem by Susan M. Fenn
"

Don't ask.. it's one of the one's that I found.. I barely remember writing it...

"

Rambling, drifting thoughts

Stars collide
Stars fade
Dreams Drift, the Shy Flee...

In the eyes of a child
Your actions are so far
The One
You made me feel like the one
You made me think you were the one

Summer flings are fast and short
Winter romances are meant to last
Spring boasts of eternal love
Fall hearts fall from above
 

© 2008 Susan M. Fenn


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I was with you right up until the last line. The flow was sure and steady (in my opinion) until:

"Fall hearts fall from above" - I'm not quite sure as to why, but this line sort of threw the piece out of whack (for me). It would seem that the preceding lines demand a more fitting end to the thoughts. I don't even know if this makes sense to you, but it's just me sharing my rambling,drifting thoughts.

Nicely penned...

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I was with you right up until the last line. The flow was sure and steady (in my opinion) until:

"Fall hearts fall from above" - I'm not quite sure as to why, but this line sort of threw the piece out of whack (for me). It would seem that the preceding lines demand a more fitting end to the thoughts. I don't even know if this makes sense to you, but it's just me sharing my rambling,drifting thoughts.

Nicely penned...

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

135 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on February 14, 2008

Author

Susan M. Fenn
Susan M. Fenn

Rochester, NY



About
I have been writing since I was five years old, short stories, poems, and I have completed a full novel, and am hard at work on the second one. In HS, I was editor and chief of the school newspaper fo.. more..

Writing