Where is my mind?

Where is my mind?

How do I find it?

All of these things just happen,

Just increase,

In size,

In space,

In weight,

In density.

 

No matter how much I scream,

And how I want to scream,

To yell,

To tear myself out of my skin,

To cry,

To sob,

To lose myself in the emotion of it all.

 

But I can't.

I have to hold it all in,

I must keep this all carefully contained,

I have to keep the stitches firm,

Creases carefully bound.

 

But I'm bursting at the seams.

It's all threatening to fall out,

All these carefully placed patterns,

Gently placed lies.

Did I ask for what happened?

Did I somehow facilitate this?

Did I own as much of the blame?

 

I am sane within a asylum.

I am insane amongst friends.

I am cold within a volcano.

I am drowned within a desert.

I am parched while in a lake.

I am guilty while being found innocent.

I am evil within an angel.

I am good within a devil.

 

Where does one end and the other begin?

Where is the anger?

Where is the swearing?

Where is the wrath?

 

Where is my mind?

Where did I go?

Where are my answers?

Where are my questions?

Where is my cage?

Where is my release?

 

Who holds the key?

Or is the door simply standing wide open,

Waiting for me to walk through it?