Cold

I wrote this to get over the guilt I felt after breaking up with someone. Most of the imagery is from a dream I had while I was with him...

Cold

Squeezing you with hugs and kisses

To close the distance,

To make you warm.

Car careening off the icy road,

Sinking in the frozen water

Everyone stops and gathers,

Tipping over the ledge to see.

You’re turning blue,

But I’m the one who is cold.

I can’t thaw you.

Helicopters hover over the lost cause

I am losing you because

My kisses are ice

My hugs are too late

But that’s not what they see.

They hope, they dream,

I clutch desperately

Bubbles through the broken ice.

You fall into me

But I am no safety.

Grasping

Gasping for air that is not there

Stiff.

Still water.

The crowd clears,

Distant ripples disappear.

Your eyes frozen open,

Seeing right through me,

Past the cold.

Author's Note

Just interested in any sort of feedback...
Also, I'm terrible at poem punctuation so if you have any suggestions to make it flow better

First time posting anything here, so I'm testing the waters

Reviews

[Violet Evergreen]

Keep going you are doing great i like ur works .... all the very best :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Dreams are release and warning. When we make a hard decision. Dreams take us to dangerous places and decisions. This dream described in the poem left reader with fatal decision and no hope of return. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Luuucy]

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. You understand it well. When I had the dream, I ignored the warning, here I was writing the poem to recover

[Coyote Poetry]

I have study dreams for years. I was hooked on Carlos Castaneda many years ago. Dreams do warn us and tell us we are struggling. You are welcome.