RABBIT IN A CAN

The exultant story of Max Rabbit, who goes on his dream winter vacation and in so faces down his fears of facing up to certain other creatures of the forest.

Call him thumper, cottontail or just Max, his goal that one Wednesday morning was to get out and enjoy the day.  It was a cold winter morning and there was six inches of new snowfall covering the land, and much to Max's pleasure, he had arrived at the crossroads of  Bunny lane and County Limerick Hie just in time.  Hie is just another word for road, or way.  

There sitting right before him not 10 hops away was a country wagon full of hay, just perfect to get his trek off to a good start.  He had heard about the incredible jumpers up in Limerick and he wanted to see  them jump.  So taking full responsible, he took a dash and took one big bound and landed right in the back of the hay covered wagon.  No one saw a thing.  He was all set to go.  He just had to hope that this little buggy was going all the way to Limerick.

The destination made him think of his favorite little, well 'Limerick', which went:

         From Limerick there came this great Jack.  With those giant legs in his great                  back. He would lift off from his knees and land with such ease. He could take such          mighty and distant flights all the way down the Hie Delancy.  No other Jack could          fly so far and go so high.  His flights were enormous leaps of fancy.  He was                    without parallel, and to tell the truth, and when he flew we all knew his courage            well.  

Well, Max was no great flyer, but he knew how to use his big back legs to get out of trouble, and on this journery, it occurred to him that he would need them again.  as the surrey made it way up the Limerick Hie, he began to notice that the driver was either a little off balance or the snow was turning to ice an the wheels were slipping and sliding on the road.  He decided it was getting somewhat colder as they road the Northern Hie.  He could not do anything about it, but after hours on the road, it was well past dark, and around midnight  everything started spinning  around faster and faster, then there was this jerk as a couple of the wooden wheels began to dig into the clumps of grass hidden below the snow and out of sight, the horse began a fearful whinny and the surrey lurched off the road and all o a sudden, he felt himself flying through the air. ejected from the back of the wagon, hay and all he found himself flying uncontrollably through he air.  He landed on the side of a hill about 20 meters down from the road. As he gathered himself and set himself back up, he realized where exactly this roadway upset had taken place.  It had happened in the big left hand turn that brought the Limerick Hie up around the Southwest face of Lake Limerick, just 15 klicks from Limerick itself.  Had this not occurred he would have easily been in County Limerick in and a matter of a couple o hours.

Now the lake was situated from this approach facing to the  East.   Sun would come up over the East flank of the Lake in just a few hours, but right now there was a full moon rising over the far Eastern shore and it lit up the entire eastern shore, the lake itself and all the West Shore front up the bank to the place at the top where he had just flown into he area from the back of the wagon.

But, for just now, Max knew he had a problem.  He had been toasty warm in the hay in the back of the wagon, but now he was in the snow.  His fur would keep him warm for a while but he would need to find some accommodations for the remainder of the evening.  He looked patiently for a few minutes searching for the answer and then right smack in front of him was the answer.  It looked just perfect for his needs and looked like I would fit his accommodation needs to a tee.   For right there in front o him not 20 hops down he hill was a Maxwelll House Inn.  It was round and the front door faced the lake.  

He knew that this was a country inn version.  There would be NO turn-down service, No complementary USA Today, no fresh mints on he pillow, and NO exterior or interior security service.  Which he also meant he would have to be more alert through the remaining six hours of the night.   He had already noticed the potential for trouble.  He had seen a red fox, a grey wolf, and a badger down near the lake front.  The badger lived down there on the rocky outcroppings, but the fox an the wolf were foraging and they were looking for something to nibble on, or "play with" as they would state it.  And, well, Max just didn't want to te their play pretty for the remainder of the night.  He thought he could get checked in before they would notice him, but that was just wishful thinking.

He felt fortunate though the Maxwell House image was world reknown for above average accommodations and this second floor scoop was just perfect if he could just get in and get situated.  The room was just perfect for him.  Not a spare square centimeter was left after he backed inside and wedged his back legs against the rear of the canister.  He felt 'comfy' enough, so he thought he would grab a quick nap and see where that would put him. 

From the angle of the Moon over the lake he decided it was about one in the morning. But when he opened his eyes he saw one big round eyeball sliding in from the Northern side of his room.  The owner's second eye finally came into sight as well, and they flapped huge eyelashes to go with a big old red snout with glossy white teeth.  She said in a very accented drawl:  "Helloo, my dear, my name is Millicent.  Friends call me MIllieLou, or "Red."  "I just came by to introduce myself and see if you might, on this long cold night might consider allowing me o crawl in there with you and get warm,  It is so cold and blustery tonight, don't you think, darl-ling.   Looks like you have plently of room.  It would only take a few minutes then I would be gone and you would could have the little ole place back for yourself.  There was a gap in MIllieLou's spiel and then she says to me:  "well, you got a heart of rock or a heart of diamond's dear?.

Well, Max knew her game.  If she came out and let MillieLou inside, he would never get back inside, so He says' to the little red fox " MillieLou, I just got here and as much as I would like to be of assistance, I just don't think I can get myself out of here.  I am like wedged in here and if I let you come in, then the Maxwell House Inn is going to ask me to pay more for the room."

Well, MillieLou closed her eyes down to a narrow horizontal crack, and said, you are a very selfish narrow minded, likely hedonistic mind who cares only for himself.  Guess you don't care to be Selfish do you.  I am a poor, weak little red fox, and you are a big old selfish clown.

Now Max was infuriated.  He said, why don't you take your sly red foxness down to the badger down below and tell him your little sob story.  I know your plan.  Once I come out, you will stay for the rest of the evening on my dime and leave me holding the bag on the room rent.  So, no I  will not come out.  So why don't you take a hike Milliecent.

The Fox left leaving a few choice words behind of him, but he didn't care, and he was only going to be in the can for a few more hours and then he would be off to county Limerick to see the Jacks fly.  Then MillieLou could have it all to herself.  She just wanted to get him out of the Maxwell House that's all.

About two hours went by, and Max had another pair of eyes staring down on him.  This time it was the Grey Wolf.  HIs snout was long and full of sharp, snarling teeth. And every word he spoke came over to me with a bit of saliva.  He was not at all a pleasant creature to look at or talk to. 

Then the wolf looked at him and said in his scariest voice:  "Hey little bunny, I need you to come out of there and play some games with me.  It won't take long and you can get back in.  

But Max knew better than that, and he calmly looked into the grey wolf's eyes and said: "NO Man, I don't think so.  I like it right where I am and I am not moving out of here for you or no other fast talker."  Max didn't wait another second, with all his force and strength, he pushed with this back legs as hard as he could, and launched himself out of the front opening of the can and right into the Wolf's snout.  He hit the wolf so hard and with so much energy, the knocked the wolf completely over on his backside.  The wolf's snout filled up with blood and stuff almost immediately.  The wolf pulled himself back up on his feet and ran tumbling down the hillside to the lake below.  The wolf would survive, but had he hit him even harder.

Looking down below, Max could see the Badger stirring and beginning to wonder in his direction.  He would not wait for the Badger to become hostile.    Max watched at the badger came and stuck his face right in the opening.  Max said to the Badger: "why don't you take your smelly breath and your grouchy disposition back down to the lake before I get offended, and have to take matters into my own hands with you.

With that the Badger got real smug and hostile and with his back right foot gave the Maxwell House can a good swift kick down the hill to the left.  Max was now sliding down the hill quite rapidly and Max knew he was going into the lake fairly soon and the Badger would have his fun with him once in the lake with him.  About half way down the hill, the Badger, gave him another kick sending him and his can into a spin which brought the open end of the can right into view of snarling mouth and hostile disposition.  But Max knew now that every rotation of he spin the can would spin away from the Badger, and with that he could leap out into the snow bank and bury up in the snow before the Badger realized he was out of the can.  The only problem was that he would have to be perfect with his exit an do it as close to the lake as possible.  

It would take perfect timing,, but If he could keep It perfect and get off just as he go down to the lake, he could disappear into the hillside and slide into the six inch soft snowdrift wihout the Badger knowing he was gone from he open can. Wihin seconds he used his great jack muscles ans pushed himself out into snow.  

The badger, not knowing he can was empty followed the empyty  Maxwell House can out into he lake and followed it to the bottom of the lake down about 10 feet.  After searching for the rabbit for several minutes and decided that he had been made a fool of by he rabbit swam quickly to the surface.  He looked for the Rabbit for about 30 minutes but finally gave up on the search.  

Max finally made it to County Limerick and watched the great jumps.  After a week he returned to his home and was himself soaring with the eagles.  He had escaped the wrath of a guileless fox, a grey wolf and a crabby old badger.  It was a week to be remembered.  A vacation to be enjoyed for yeas to come.  He had conquered the enemies and enjoyed timeless magic by the big jacks.  He was going to go back some day and do it all over again, but for now he was just going to savor the mystery and the myrth of it all and rejoice in the magic of his vacation.  Guess that is why people think rabbits have lucky feet isn't it.