The Struggle

A poem about the struggle to overcome addiction...

They say I'm down and out
But I'm not the only one
Havin' trouble tellin' the difference between much and some
Brain slowed down from the whiskey and rum
Brain fogged up and my heart is numb
And though I seem to be sittin' still
I'm really on the run
A fugitive from myself
And both sides hold the gun
Locked and loaded and ready to kill
But there's no one here
Just me the whiskey and a bottle of pills

But I'm gonna lock this bottle up
In a chest with all my fears
It's time to make a life
To put behind me all these years
Of distrust, hate, and lust
Vanity, insanity, it's time to readjust
When the world hits me now, I counterthrust
So for all you people out there with lives ready to combust
Who have lost all trust in a world that's fair and just
Listen to me now-forget about what was just discussed
Pick yourself up and brush off the dust

Cuz we're risin' from the ashes
We're movin' further past this
We're kickin' life in the teeth for all the times its kicked our asses
Yeah I speak for the masses
Of people who are down and out-the ones who feel like dyin'
But we're risin' above
And now we're flyin'
High above the people who were denyin'
Sayin' there's no use in us tryin'
Listen to me now
Those people were lyin'

Author's Note

I wrote this as lyrics for a song about my past addiction to alcohol. Like most of the "poems" I put on here, it started as lyrics for a rap song. But many have told me they hold a poetic quality. I don't know, so I'll let you decide. Let me know what you think, I'm eager to see some outside opinions on my work.

Reviews

[Kelsey]

I have a special place in my heart for pieces like this. It's so inspiring, number one. Congratulations on the word "past" being a part of your addiction to alcohol. I've grown up in a family of alcoholics, so I know my share of that topic, and it's not a nice one, nor is it easy to overcome. Two, when I read your work, I can just feel the fact that it just flows out of you. Some people sit and contemplate the next line, but when I read yours, I just have this feeling that when you wrote it, it was quick and simple for you. You make it sound easy, I guess is what I'm trying to say, and that's an impressive quality for a writer to hold. Once again, wonderful job. Your work is great.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you much. ^^ Thank you very much. Writing poetry and lyrics is something I've always enjoyed and something I try and do often, simply because I feel that learning to create rhythm quickly and without stopping translates well to when I write my books. In truth, writing novels is my true passion. But writing poetry, I believe, gives you the ability to create emotion in other kinds of writing. Anyways, thank you again for the read. ^^

[Poetta]

I could definitely pick up on this piece's musical qualities while I was reading it. Definitely an inspiration piece. Awesome job!

[JodieH]

It is good your able to be honest about how you feel and although the past hurts I am liking the way your giving advice in the story for others to not let life get you down. Really good :)

[Kenaz]

Yes, I feel the same quality here as in your other work. The structure on this one is a little strange though. What you have are here three incomplete sonnets. Structure doesn't matter in your writing, but it could be cool to see.

[MachinaWriter]

I honestly don't know what a sonnet is. I'm pretty sure its a kind of poem, but I really don't know. lol

[Kenaz]

14 lines. There are some other usual aspects but it doesn't matter

[MachinaWriter]

Oh...gotcha. Yeah, I never have a set amount of lines decided. That's sounds awfully constricting, for something that's meant to speak from the soul, which has no constraints. I tend to just let the poem end where it wants to. There tends to be a general rhyme scheme, but I never force it. It just ends up that way.

[Kenaz]

I know what you mean, but somehow I end up with fourteen lines a lot? Haha, well anyway, this poem is almost like the pheonix one you were mentioning.

[Dream Weaver]

I feel you on this one my friend... great description!
I think when we decide to crawl out of a bottle or flush
remaining pills down the toilet or what ever the addiction
is, it's like losing a dysfunctional family member you know
their always around but you never what to be seen with
them...truly inspiring...

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you. To me getting rid of this problem wasn't just getting rid of the bottle. It was ridding myself of other problems I had, problems with myself. Thanks for the read ^^

[Dream Weaver]

That's how it all starts my friend...

[MachinaWriter]

I wrote another poem similar to this one called Half-life, if you wanna give it a look. Thanks again for the comments. They mean a lot.

[Sarah W. French]

This is beautiful. It's a wonderful poem but I can also see it as a rap or a song. You have a real talent, my dear.

[MachinaWriter]

Thank you very much ^^