Picking up the pieces

Journal Entry 2015/09/11

Hurting my self and the one I love, and not in the way that I am familiar with. I haven't written anything in nine months, not a thought, not a memory, nothing. You would think my minds been blank, my life's been boring. You would think, how can you can you express when you have no inspiration, however that is not the case. The past nine months have changed my life completely, I'm engaged to be married to the man I love, the man I've missed with all my heart, every moment without him drew me closer to him. In the past nine months I have had two jobs, the first was quite exciting working for a gold mining kingpin, their was enough inspiration for my imagination to run wild, but I still could not write a single page. You would think that maybe I've been numb, emotionless for the past nine months, I wish that were true, but its not. I have been ecstatically happy, uncontrollably wasted and I have even learned how to be happy without a high, without that kick that I have so often required. During the past nine months so much has happened, things that I struggled to imagine possible, from finally being with the man I love to my father almost dying. I've experienced my utmost highs to some of my utter most lows, from extreme happiness to wondering if I am even alive and why? They say life is a roller-coaster, but I fear that some of us design our own, with all the flaws that we know will hurt us and the ones we love, but we keep riding because we don't know how to make it stop and worst of all we don't know if we want it to.

Author's Note

This is what happens after not writing for nine months, so please bare with me as I am out of practice, but I think this may be a start to something bigger.