Second Chance

Everybody deserves a second chance..

Even though they say I’m dead, I am not able to accept it.

Mainly because I don’t feel dead. My senses are sharp as ever.

No pain. No golden light. No hell fire. No angels. No ‘getting-sucked-into-oblivion’ business. And still they say I’m dead!

The more I try not to think about it, the more it keeps popping in my mind �" the look on my daughter’s face this morning. She had come to my room with the usual bed coffee, to find her father lying cold and motionless on the bed. I wanted to console her, tell her I was fine. But my body refused to obey my orders.

I can see her now �" sitting across the room, her eyes red with crying. She looks so fragile. I wish I had been more kind to her. I wish I had truly expressed my love.

During the divorce, I fought hard for her custody. At that time, it was the most I could do to wound my wife. But once the goal was achieved, what did I do? Stay away from her as much as possible just because her face and habits reminded me of her mother’s. But now, I wish I had been more considerate.

From where they have laid my body, I can see up to the front gate.

I am amazed as I see a familiar woman walk up the front steps. I am more amazed when I see the tears sparkling in her eyes - the same way they did when our names were spoken together for the last time, in the court.

I realize how much I missed her. I realize I was wrong about her, all along.

I wonder how she can still cry for my loss. I wonder if I would've done the same, if she was the one draped in white.

I wonder what went wrong. And now, the answer seems obvious �" it was me. I went wrong.

My priorities were not what they should have been.

I ran behind the wrong things, and lost what was right.

Money, fame, power, luxury �" I have ‘em all. But I find a hollow space in my heart, where happiness should have been.

I loved things and used people.

Emotions and relations �" I dealt with them like a businessman.

I see my daughter hugging her mother. They have the same amber eyes, now brimming with tears.

I wish I could stand beside them, with my hand around their shoulders �" being the beloved man I never was.

I wish I had seen earlier, what I can see now �" happiness comes from little things in life.

People raise me from the floor and I hear my beloveds crying harder.

People set me down in the earth, in a freshly dug pit.

As  they shovel dirt over me, I have one desperate wish �" a second chance in life is all that I need.

Reviews

[Aehr]

Wow, I'm kind of speechless. This is really good. And the last line really enhances the beauty of it. Well done!

[Emma Kirchhoff]

Wow. This is just something that speaks beyond words. It shows values in life need to be taken care of and watch what is happening around you, no matter how much it hurts.

[Mal]

Yeah! Its really sad when people do not realize the value of what they have until they lose it. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Emma Kirchhoff]

I enjoyed reviewing it. And it is sad. "And don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone..."