'Are You Happy Now?'

I was asked; but dared not reply. Too many lenses to probe, too many emotions to reanimate. Nightmares past, forlorn present, and probable futures. Parts of a whole, yet useless alone to me. 

Then, after looking through it all again, seeing all the flaws and failures and missteps I had took and will be taking, I could not utter a response that could evoke comfort, so, I did not. 

I kept my silence and she mirrored me. Looping into an eventual spiral of nihility. The silence deafens. Yet, amidst this dread, inside the echoing chambers of time, she turns to me with a faceless smile, asking again. 

Now, the fleeting moment of every second collapsed inwards. The void black no longer, her sanguine smile etched into memory. I then turn to her, marking this very moment into my soul, Trying to utter what I had felt, yet the moment is no longer.

Author's Note

A personal poem for me.

Reviews

[Miafina]

Very strong and beautiful poem!

[MantaStyle]

Thank you.

[starmilina]

i have never related to something this much before, i adore it !

[MantaStyle]

thank you for adoring it. it truly is a special poem to me about my thoughts about myself. I'm always happy to know hear people relate to the poem

[Ted Kniffen]

Thank you for sharing this Manta. Ying and yang ... the duality of life ... the give and take of expression.
What is it determines happiness? What satisfies our psyche?
Very well said.

One thing - first line second stanza - "I had took and will be taking" maybe 'I took and will be taking or I had taken and will be taking' ... just a thought.

I will be reading more.

[MantaStyle]

>I had took and will be taking

I wasn't sure if that part was grammatically correct or not. Hahaha. While your versions would probably be better, my version rolls off my own tongue better.

>I will be reading more

^^^umm... i don't write a lot of poetry. I actually wrote this piece a couple months ago for a project about mental health. It wasn't even a project that needed a poem but I wanted to make one as I wasn't in a good mental state back then and I think it reflects.

Hopefully, the next poem I write is a positive one but for now I'm busy making a "book" and I really enjoying creating my own fantasy world with characters I love.

[Ted Kniffen]

Poetry is best served when it is spoken and if it rolls off the tongue better when you read it, then that's what you do ... stick with it.
I will still check out more of your writings.

[Lorry]

Our past walks with us into our present and future when we let it, but stopping it doing so is harder than it sounds. The emotions bubble to the surface and leave us fighting for a direction in which to go.
Sometimes we find silence eats at us, consuming the reality of our past until we no longer remember the good and wallow in the bad.
Very enjoyable and thought provoking write.

[MantaStyle]

I agree. In doing this poem, I was able to express and understand my personal flaws a lot better. Sadly, realization is only the first step in bettering yourself as knowing and acknowledging your own faults does not equate to pardoning or condoning it.

[Coyote Poetry]

What we didn't do or what we didn't say. Haunt our thoughts. I liked the twist of thoughts and the honest emotions in the words. I could feel and understand them. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[MantaStyle]

It really is a personal poem for me. It's special as I don't write poems that often as I try to give my everything in them and it's a special event for me when I make poems. I'm very happy to be able to share these precious emotions in a manner people can enjoy.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well. Hard to write personal struggle.

[pinhead07]

This is very well written, I enjoyed reading it. Makes me remember the times I didn't speak up when I should've. It happened twice. Wish I had done so. I'm still full of regret. Kudos. Top score. :))

[MantaStyle]

Thanks! For me it's a deeper and more emotional poem than just merely speaking up but I'm very happy you can relate to it in some form. :)