Glance Back and Die

My first horror story in the perspective of one young person. You come up with your own character, who do you imagine the person to be? (I'm gonna take a statistic on this) Would you like more of this

The air was silent much like a hiding mouse. Some could call it dead, but my footsteps gave a small amount of life to its silence. My breaths were white clouds and were heavy with fatigue. The pounding of my feet brings a sense of pain to my body. Tap tap tap

It will all be over soon.

I take a right and stumble over an unseen slab, and continue down the narrow path, almost tripping over a lump of waste. I turn right again, and to my surprise, I am blinded. My hand blocks my face from the infuriating light, and my eyes began to adjust to extraordinary painting in the sky. It was beautiful, but it would waste my time to gaze at it.

I continue running, but my run started as a stumble. Tap tap tap  Looking back I see the figure peering behind the corner. I must go. The stress of the situation is pulling me down, and I feel as if weights are tied to my ankles. I can’t look back again, or I might fall. I seemed to forget how to use my legs, and I attempt a half run.

I stumble.

Tap tap tap

I could feel my pursuer creeping up behind me. No matter what, I couldn’t let whatever it was, catch up to me. The bursts of adrenaline rushing through my veins felt like pulsating fire. With my energy suddenly renewed, I ran. Without stopping, my feet crushed ground in an effort to escape. What was to happen to me?

Then, I could no longer feel my body. It felt as if I wasn’t in myself. I was prey to my own imagination. However, I never did get to the end of the alley. I continued to run, but the alley was endless. It stretched on, and, on, and on. I could see myself running and I could see the figure behind me. How can I see myself?

Suddenly, I could feel again. Rolling spikes of needles ran vigorously through my skin. I flinched at the sudden feeling. Pushing myself faster I strived to escape the aggravating pain. To my surprise this was pointless. The tapping grew louder still.  IT was gaining on me. My steps grew slower, no matter how hard I pushed. The breath that left my mouth was smoke in a beautiful orange. My eyes are heavy and I drift.

Soon I felt a hard surface running the front length of my body, and then, it’s on me. The hands are like snakes. Slithering up my body with lightning speed. I can no longer run. I can no longer move. With slicing fingers, the figure begins to deform my body into a pile of human flesh. What brought this upon me? The figure grunts above as he digs further into my precious skin. I can feel him. He begins to flip my body over to attack other parts. The skin is slowly torn off my arms as I am carelessly rolled onto my back.

I’m going to die here.

On my back, I can feel him beginning to dig into me. Fight back. I tell myself. But I am unable to move, and that’s when I notice it faces. My face.

Reviews

[Christopher Miller]

Whatever grammarly is, thank you for using it. This was so much easier to read than a lot of what i see on here. I don't think the character needs any specification at all, I think its openness to interpretation is very effective. In fact I think you could replace "him" with "it" and it would be even better; could be anyone then. I did think the phrase 'spikes of needles' was a bit redundant. Points of needles maybe?
For such a short piece, it was eventful. A good, brief image that reads like a nightmare I could see myself having.

[Mareis]

Hopefully, you enjoy my story!!!
I check all my mistake with Grammarly, you should check it out.