Sinner

Another cigarette lit,
Smoke rolls off my lips.
I asked God why did he make me such a sinner,
Why my soul is colder than a northern winter.
 
Another shot of bourbon,
I think I might have an addiction.
Not just to the whiskey or nicotine,
But to this pain that tries to kill me.
 
Another man in my bed,
Images of the night before flash through my head.
As much as I want to say I regret this,
I don't because of my enduring loneliness.
 
Another morning,
And I'm still breathing.
The tears flowed down as I fell to my knees,
Asking God what does he want from me.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but make sure there's an end objective to the piece. It feels like this piece is very dark and edgy but without much substance beyond that - it's essentially the narrator whining about why her life is so dark and edgy without actually doing anything about it. Your writing is superb and you've painted a very clear picture, there's just not very much here to work with.