Personal Pestilence (lyrics)

My feelings are obscured,
and it kills me to know how much the tables have turned.
I don’t expect you to understand,
until you’ve personally suffocated from the dark.
I’ve turned into everything I’ve ever hated.
A mirror of he who hath betrayed me.
I can’t believe that I’ve made it this far.
So this is the part,
where I won’t come to terms.
And…
I…
Fall…
Apart…
How could this happen?!
How did I become so f*****g broken?!
These… conflicting… emotions…
I wish that I could hate you,
but I can only hate myself…
Now…
You try to hold me up, but I’m choking,
falling from the rope that I’ve been holding.
It’s easy to see that I’m miserable,
and you try to save me from the Hell that I’ve created for myself.
But can’t you see?
As sadistic as it sounds,
I’m so happy here…
How could this happen?!
How did I become so f*****g broken?!
These… conflicting… emotions…
I wish that I could hate you,
but I only hate myself…
Now…
I can’t help myself.
I revel in the most inane silence,
and hold the cure to my own personal pestilence.
It’s easy to see that I’m miserable,
and you try to save me from the Hell that I’ve created for myself.
But I’m so happy… here…
But I’m so happy… here…
But I’m so… happy… here…
But I’m… so… happy… here…
But… I’m… so… happy… here…
But I’m so… far…
So… far…
Gone…

Author's Note

I was listening to Evanescence when I was writing this, so it was inspired by Amy Lee's beautifully haunting voice.