I loved you

I would love for some comments because I have no idea how to construct a poem

 when I showed my affection to you. you swatted it down like an annoying fly, when I looked at my love shattered on the floor I looked at you I felt no love anymore

Author's Note

PLEASE COMMENT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS PIECE

Reviews

[Dark Beauty]

The words are good but it's very short but to the point!

[Tim]

Not bad at all. Poetry takes years to learn if you want to be really good at it. I'm still trying to grasp it myself. Try copying the glossary of poetic terms from some web sites (type it into your browser and see what you find) to get an idea of its techniques, and by all means keep reading the poets on this site and any poetry on the net. You might try putting your lines into stanzas such as:

when I showed my affection to you
you swatted it down like an annoying fly,
when I looked at my love
shattered on the floor
I looked at you
I felt no love anymore.

Just an example. Sometimes you can't because the devise your using prohibits it but you get the idea.

Keep writing. From what I've read of you, your doing fine.