Road Trip disaster

This is based on a true story, this is also my first attempt at writing anything creative like this so I'm looking for constructive criticism. This is intended to be a screenplay

It’s getting dark out, and four friends pull up to their friend Pat’s house. Andy’s driving, and he has Ryan riding in shot gun with him. In the back there is Timmy, seated behind Andy, and Chuck, seated behind Ryan. They all seem a little worried.

Andy: Man, I haven’t been out there in a loooong time. It’s gunna be fun.

Timmy: Yak, neither have I, but are you sure it was a good idea to bring... HIM along?

            Ryan and Chuck laugh a little

Ryan: Yaaa.. Pats pretty out there

Andy: I know he his, but he’ll just make the trip more enjoyable.

            Chucks phone starts ringing

Chuck: It’s HIM!

Andy: Well answer him I guess...

            Chuck gets a little annoyed, takes a breath and answers

Chuck: Hello?......... Yes we’re outside……… Yes we are, we’re right in front of the yard……..Hold on..(To Andy) He wants you to pull in the driveway

Andy (confused): Why? We’re leaving as soon as he gets in..

Chuck: (To the phone) He doesn’t want to, can’t you just come out?

            Pat’s voice gets louder. Timmy laughs

Chuck: Alright, alright! We’re outside, just come out when you’re ready…….. Okay, bye. (Hangs up) He’ll be right out.

Ryan: Greeat..

Chuck: Be nice!

            Pat comes out of the house, but he goes to his car in the driveway, he gets in, starts it up, and the other four look at him confusingly

Timmy: What the hell is he doing?!

            Chuck Rolls down the window

Chuck: PAT! What are you doing?!

            Pat reverses into the street and pulls up next to the other car, lined up with Andy

Pat: So am I following you guys?

Andy: Why would you follow us? We can all fit in one car.

Pat: I just wanna drive myself. You guys can hop in here if you want, just give me my gas money

            The group look around at each other. Pat has a history of being a bad driver, and Andy wasn’t asking for gas money. Timmy rolls down his window

Timmy: Why don’t you just come in here?

Pat: No it’s fine! I just want someone to ride with me

            Ryan puts his head down in frustration

Andy: We can all ride TOGETHER in here...

Pat: Chuck, you wanna hop in?

Chuck: I’m good Pat...

Pat: Alright... I guess I have to go by MYSELF then!

(The group gets frustrated)

 So I can follow you guys but where are we going?

Andy: We’re going to the light show, remember?

Pat: Oh, you guys were serious? I don’t wanna do that!

Chuck: Where did you THINK we were going?! (The frustration is very audible in his voice)

Pat: Well I don’t know! I was just gunna follow you guys! So I’ll follow you guys out there?

            Andy has his head in his hands. It’s been five minutes and he’s already done with Pat. But he knows Pat will follow the wherever they go so he might as well make the best of it.

Andy: Pat... We can just hop in one car. They charge you five bucks a car, so if you follow we’ll have to pay for two tickets instead of one.

Pat: Alright, FINE!

            Pat reverses a little fast and pulls back into his driveway

Timmy (To Andy): You sure we should do this?

Andy: I mean, I really wanna go to this light show! And we’re kind of stuck with him now. (To Ryan) I don’t exactly remember how to get there so I’m gunna set up the GPS, can you watch it?

Ryan: Sure.

            The sound of Pat’s engine gets louder and he hits the gas to pull in further into the drive way. Pat gets out and comes over to Chuck’s door.

Ryan (To Andy): It says it’s a forty-five minute drive.

Andy: Alright

            Chuck un buckles his seat belt and gets out for Pat to slide in the middle

Pat: Oh, you think I’M sitting in the middle?

Chuck: Would you like me to sit in the middle?

Pat: No, no, it’s fine.

            The two stare at each other, waiting for the other to get in the middle. Andy and Ryan are looking at the route on Andy’s phone. Timmy is waiting Chuck and Pat to get in

Chuck: Are you going to get in?

Pat: Do I have to?

Chuck: I’ll go in if you want me too.

Pat: Okay, can you?

Chuck: Fine. (Chuck starts to slide in)

Pat: Hehe, you got the b***h seat Chuckie!

Chuck (Sliding back out): Okay now I’m not taking it.

Pat: What? Why!? I’m not taking it either!

            Timmy’s getting annoyed

Timmy: Can one of you just get in?!

Chuck (Sighs): Fine, I’LL have to be the mature one. (He slides in)

            Pat gets in the seat. He is now behind Ryan and Chuck is in the middle

Timmy; Finally! Was that go hard!?

Chuck: It’s NOT but this guy...

Andy (Interrupting): Okay! GPS is set, we’re ready to go. So its five bucks a car, there’s five of us, so I just need a dollar from each of you.

Pat (Whispering to Chuck): He wants us to pay?!

            Chuck was getting his wallet out, and he gives Pat a dirty look.

Chuck: Really? He’s giving us a ride out there for free and you won’t even pay your share of the ticket!?

            Chuck hands Andy a dollar, followed by Ryan and Timmy

Pat: Heya, Andy, I can’t get my wallet out, I’ll just give it to you when we get there

            Chuck shakes his head

Andy: Fine, as long as I get it Pat

            Andy puts the car into drive and start to pull out

 

About forty minutes have passed. They’re almost to the light show. Ryan is on his phone, and Andy is focusing on the road. Chuck and Timmy are in the back with Pat listening to his ramblings

Pat: So ya, that burger was great. It had everything I could have asked for!

Chuck (Laughing): That’s good.

Timmy (Failing to control his laughter): Ya, sounds good. Why were we talking about burgers though?

Pat: I’m hungry

            Chuck and Timmy laugh harder

Pat: Oh, what are you guys huffing and puffing about, huh?

            Their laughter continues

Andy (To Ryan): When’s the exit coming up?

            Ryan’s looking at the phone

Ryan: Uuuuugh… It says two minutes

Andy: I can’t hear the damn voice from the phone

            He puts the volume up on the car’s stereo

Pat: Hey! Why you putting the music up?!

Andy: So I can hear the GPS

Pat: Well I don’t hear a voice, I just hear the loud crappy music in your phone!

            Ryan, Timmy, and Chuck all laugh, they know Andy’s about to fire back

Andy: I just wanna get there Pat, and you’re welcome for the ride by the way.

Pat: Well lower that crap! It’s just stupid! Let me put my music on!

            As Pat is talking the GPS voice comes on

Andy: S**t, what did it say?

            Ryan starts to answer, but gets interrupted

Pat: I said let me put my music on!

Andy: Not you! The GPS!

Pat: I didn’t hear it

Chuck: Because you were talking!

Pat: Well a lot of good the turning up the crappy music did, huh Andy?

            Andy takes a deep breath. Ryan and Timmy laugh

Ryan: It says this to take this exit coming up

            Andy put’s his turning signal on and starts to change lanes. They get off the exit and end up in a commercial area

Timmy: This doesn’t look like the right place

Ryan: Ya, I think we went the wrong way.

Andy: Then why did the GPS tell us to go this way? What does it say to do next?

Ryan: Just go straight down this road for a bit, and it wants you to get back on the expressway

Andy: It just told me to get off!

Ryan: I know, pull into this neighborhood and we’ll look at it.

            Andy turns left into a residential neighborhood. They go about half a block down

Ryan: Watch the raccoon!

            Andy swerves the car to the left. Everyone gets pushed to the right. And Chuck’s arm accidently hits Pat

Pat: AAH! MY F****N’ JAW!!

Chuck: Are you okay!?

Pat: MY F****N’ JAW!!! OH GOD!! IT HURTS!!

Andy: What happened?!

Chuck: You made me hit him in the jaw!

Pat: AHH! ANDY, YOU BROKE MY F****N’ JAW!!

Timmy: Why did you swerve like that!?

Andy: There was a raccoon! I didn’t wanna run it over!

Pat: OH, MY F****N’ JAW!!

Andy: I’m sorry Pat, I was trying to avoid the raccoon.

Pat: YOU DID THAT IN PURPOSE!

Ryan; What!!?

Pat: I DID’NT SEE A RACOON! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!

Andy: Ya, I f*****g swerved in the road for no reason other than to make Chuck hit you. You caught me…

Pat: Then why didn’t I see the raccoon!?

Ryan: Because it’s dark out! And my seats in your way!

Pat: I don’t wanna drive with you anymore Andy!

Andy: Okay, that’s it. If you don’t wanna drive with me then get out!

            Andy stops at a stop sign and unlocks the doors

Pat: Ugh, I was just kidding,

Chuck: Of course you were…

Timmy: Can we just look at the map while were stopped?

Andy: I mean I’m at a stop sign, I gotta pull over

            Andy goes through the intersection and pulls over.

Pat: My F****N’ jaw still hurts

Andy: Can you shut up about your jaw?! I know it hurts!

Pat: I think you broke it

Chuck: I didn’t hit you that hard!

Pat: It f****n’ hurts!

Andy: Shut up! Or I’m leaving you here!

            Ryan and Andy look at the map on the phone. Timmy looks at his phone, and Pat is mumbling about his jaw, and Chuck is the only one hearing it.

Timmy: Did you guys figure it out yet?

Ryan: Uugh, yaa... Just go here Andy, back in the highway

Andy: Alright

            The group heads back towards the highway. They approach the entrance ramp. The road is forking, one way is covered with signs saying wrong way. Andy starts heading onto the highway.

Timmy: Wrong way!

Andy: What!?

            Andy swerves into the wrong path

Chuck: What the f**k are you doing!? Wrong way!!

            Andy stops right at the fork

Andy: I’m supposed to go to the right, right!?

Pat: Why did you day right twice?

Ryan: Pat… really?

Pat: What? I-

Andy: Who said I was going the wrong way?

Chuck: I did, because you WERE!

Andy: Not you! Before that!

            The group is silent

Chuck: Didn’t you say it Timmy?

Timmy: No, I didn’t tell him it was the wrong way. I was just reading the sign.4

Ryan: Well it sounded like you were saying it was the wrong way.

Andy: So I’m going to the right now?

Chuck; YES!

            Andy goes to the right

Ryan: Why did you do that Timmy?

Timmy: I didn’t mean to confuse him, I was just reading the sign

Andy: It sounded kind of dramatic

Timmy: No it didn’t

Ryan: Ya, you read it pretty dramatically.

Timmy: No, I was just reading it!

Andy: Whatever, I just wanna get to the damn light show.

Pat: Good thing you didn’t hurt my jaw again!

Andy: Pat… SHUT. UP. ABOUT. YOUR. F****N’. JAW.

Pat: It hurts though!

Chuck: So I’ve heard.

            Ryan chuckles

Timmy: So which exit are we getting off at?

Andy: I dunno, what does it say Ryan?

Ryan: Hmm. It says 58.

Timmy: Isn’t that where we got off last time?

Ryan: No, I think we got off at 55 or something.

Timmy: Okay

            A few minutes pass. The GPS comes on and says to get off at the next exit. It turned out to be the same exit as last time.

Pat: Oh my f****n’ god, Look where we ended up.

Timmy: We can see that... Just listen to the GPS, see where it takes us.

Andy: Fine

Pat: Hopefully it doesn’t take us by any raccoons.

            Chuck laughs, Andy’s beginning to lose his patience, but he just takes a deep breathe.

Pat: Oh look! It’s a cross fit!

Andy: So the f**k what

Pat: I wonder if it’s like the one I work out at.

Andy: Probably not

Pat: Can we stop for food?

Andy: No

Pat: Why? I’m hungry

Andy: Because we’re almost there.

Timmy: I’m kinda hungry too

Chuck: Didn’t you guys eat before you go?

Timmy: No

Pat: Ya

            Chuck looks at Pat.

Chuck: Then why are you hungry now?

Pat: It was a small meal.

Chuck: Well can you just wait until later?

Pat: I guess, I probably shouldn’t be eating anything that’s not soft because of my F****N’ JAW!

Ryan (Whispering to Andy): How many times is he going to bring up his jaw?

Andy: Until the magic jaw fairy comes and fixes it for him.

            The group follows the GPS for a few more minutes.

Chuck: I think this is it.

Andy: Where? I don’t see it.

Chuck: You passed it…

Andy: Where was it?

Chuck: It was on the right.

            The GPS comes on, it says to go straight a few more miles.

Andy: See, that wasn’t it.

Chuck: I’m almost positive we passed it.

Andy: But I didn’t see anything.

Chuck: There’s a turnabout here, turn around and go by it again.

Andy: Fine

            They go through the roundabout, and start to pass the area again.

Chuck: See, right there

Andy: Where? I don’t see anything.

Chuck: It’s right there!

Andy: There’s nothing there!

Chuck: Well now there’s not! You just passed it again!

Andy: I didn’t see it!

Timmy: I saw it.

Chuck: See, Timmy saw it!

Andy: Fine, I guess I have to turn around again

Chuck: Ya, but it’s only because your f*****g blind!
Andy: I am not! There’s nothing there !

Pat: Don’t get him mad Chuck, he’ll break your jaw.

Andy: Y’know, for a kid with a broken jaw you sure are talking a lot

Pat: So you admit it’s broken!

Andy: I don’t think it’s broke, but you insist it is.

            Andy goes around the turnabout again

Pat: Well maybe if you were a better driver then I wouldn’t have to complain so much!

Andy: There was a f*****g raccoon in the road! Would you rather I run over it to save your jaw?
Pat: It depends on if there was actually a f*****g raccoon there! Because there wasn’t one before!

Andy: There was a f*****g raccoon there! Ryan saw it!

Ryan: Ya, there was one

Pat: Then why didn’t I see it?!

Ryan: They blend into the dark!

Pat: Let your friend up there answer Ryan.

Andy: Just because you didn’t see a dark colored animal in the middle of the night doesn’t mean I’m lying.

Timmy: Will you ladies stop bickering!

Chuck: Thank you Timmy!

Andy: Whatever. Now Chuck, where is this thing you see?

Chuck It’s right here! Put your signal on!

            Andy pulls into a dark parking lot. They go into the middle of it, and see it’s a parking lot for a stadium. No street lights are on.

Andy: What the f**k is this?

Chuck: I guess this isn’t it.

Andy: Isn’t that what I said?

Chuck: You said you didn’t see this place, not that tis wasn’t the light show.

Andy: Shouldn’t you have figured out this wasn’t the light show since there were no f*****g lights on in here!

Chuck: It was a better guess than where that damn GPS is taking us. Are you sure you’re reading it right Ryan?

Ryan: I’m pretty sure.

Andy: Let’s just go down the road you kept making me turn around on.

Timmy: That sounds like a good idea.

Pat: This better be a good f*****g light show.

Ryan: It should be.

            The group goes down the road. It takes them back in a circle. They end up in the same commercial area as before.

Timmy: What the f**k!

Chuck: God D****T

Andy: F**k THIS!

Pat: Look, can we just stop at that doughnut shop over there? I’m still hungry

Andy: That’s your main concern right now? Getting a f****n doughnut?

Pat: Well you’ve had me trapped in this damn car for an hour and a half now for what you said would be a forty five trip, so I’m hungry.

Timmy: I’m hungry too! But you don’t see me complaining! I just wanna see this damn light show!

Pat: Well you didn’t get your F****N’ JAW broken Timmy!

            Andy pulls over

Andy: Guys, this is getting ridiculous. I have driven eighty miles, burned a half tank of gas, and the thing is going to close in twenty minutes. We failed at finding this place miserably…

Ryan: Yak, I’m not even in the mood for a light show now

Timmy: Ya, I hear ya…

Chuck: So what are you guys saying…?

Andy: I think we should just go home…

Timmy: Ya, can we?

Chuck: I mean this all would have been a waste but if you guys really want to we can

Pat: I’ll go home

Andy: Alright, I guess we’re going.

            Andy pulls out. Forty five minutes pass and they get back to their area.

Andy: That was such a waste of time and gas…

Pat: Can we just get some food?

Andy: Fine… If you really can’t wait to get home then we can go get food

Pat: Can we?

Andy: Fiiiine….

Chuck: Sorry for giving you a hard time with that parking lot

Andy: It’s whatever, I was kind of being a dick.

            They pull into a doughnut shop parking lot

Andy: I had a full tank when we left, now I’m down to a quarter tank

Pat: Maybe you wouldn’t have wasted all that gas if you went the right way.

            Andy takes a deep breathe

Ryan: Thank you for that wonderful observation…

Pat: I’m just saying all you had to do was go through that commercial zone a little further than the entrance ramp you kept getting on, and we would have been there!

            There is a brief silence in the car

Chuck: Pat… did you know how to get there the whole time…?

Pat: Ya, I was there last weekend

            Another silence follows.

Andy: YOU KNEW WHERE TO GO THE WHOLE F*****G TIME!?!

Pat: Yak, it wasn’t that hard. The GPS was taking you the wrong way though.

Andy: WHY DID’N YOU SAY ANYTHING!?!

Pat: Well I’m sorry… I didn’t think I had to babysit you! I thought you knew where to go!

Ryan: How could you possibly think any of us knew where to go!?

Andy: WHY DID YOU THINK I PULLED INTO THAT NEIGHTBORHOOD WITH THE RACOONS?! WHY DID YOU THINK I WENT BY THAT EMTPY PARKING LOT THREE TIMES!? WHY DO YOU THINK WE CAME HOME WITHOUT SEEING THE DAMN SHOW!?

Pat: I don’t know! I figured you knew! I didn’t want to annoy you by telling you the direction. Plus my jaw was hurting so I didn’t want to talk too much!

Ryan: We were lost BEFORE YOU HURT YOUR JAW!

Timmy: And you kept saying how much your jaw hurt so you obviously could talk for that!

Andy: YA! LIKE WHAT THE F**K WAS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD!?

Pat: Hey, calm down. We made it back in one piece, which is surprising since you can’t drive for s**t!

Andy: If you say one more stupid f*****g thing I’m coming back there and hitting you.

Pat: Alright, FINE. I won’t speak from here on out.

Andy: Good! Now guys, I did waste a lot of gas on this little adventure. Would you guys mind giving me a couple more bucks for gas, since none of us could get there?

Ryan: That’s fair

Chuck: Sure

Timmy: Ya that’s fine.

Pat: Wait what? Why should I give you gas money

Timmy” Because he drove your fat a*s around all night for nothing!

Pat: It’s not my fault he didn’t know where to go!

Ryan: Yes it is! You didn’t say anything! You knew where to go but CHOSE not to help him!

Timmy: Wait, you never even put in your dollar for the ticket.

Pat: Well I didn’t get a light show so why should I give him my dollar?

Chuck: Stop being a cheapskate! We’re all putting something in!

Pat: Fine! (He starts digging through his pockets) Here’s a quarter. Now if you guys don’t mind, I’m getting my doughnut. (He exits the car)

            Andy looks at him walking in front of the car and into the shop

Andy: I could run over him right now… And that’ll be the end of it

Timmy: I hate to say I told you so but I told you not to bring him

Andy: And you were right, that dip s**t won’t even give in gas money.

Chuck: I saw we leave him

Ryan: That’s kind of mean, isn’t it?

Andy: Yup!

            Andy puts the car into drive and leaves. Timmy laughs, and the group stops outside Timmy’s house to drop him off.

Chuck: I’m surprised his hasn’t called us yet.

Timmy: He’s probably busy stuffing his face

Ryan: Ya, haha

Andy: I think I handles him fairly well.

Chuck: Ya, except for the leaving him at a doughnut shop.

Andy: He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine.

Timmy: Ya, but this night has been a disaster.

Andy: Tell me about it.

Ryan: It kind of was

Andy: Well it was kind of a bonding experience for us if you think about it (laughs)

Chuck: Ya, (laughs)

Ryan: Ya, I wouldn’t do it again though

Timmy: I agree.

Andy: We’ll there’s always next year

Chuck: I’ll go again next year, as long as our “friend” Pat isn’t involved

Andy: I think we can all agree with that, haha.

Timmy: Well this has been an adventure, I’ll see you guys later I guess.

Andy: Yup, see ya later.

            Timmy exits, the group pulls away

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Looking for constructive criticism. Let me know what you think of the writing itself, the humor, etc, anything that will help me improve