When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, I fall asleep, this is what I see. This is a monologue. This is a true story.

If I ever had to tell a therapist why I am the way I am. Why I say the things I say, I'd have to blame my dreams,the things I see when I close my eyes.

My dreams are bloody, I'm surprised I don't scream or walk in my sleep. I'm surprised that I'm living so easily today with what I see when I go back and see the world of sleep.

My dreams, I get murdered, I get stabbed, I get hit, I get bullied, I get starved, I get tortured, I get broken.

I see things in my sleep that we don't really see today unless we have been cursed! I cannot help but live them down. My dreams quite frighten me, I'm afraid soon...That they will never be dreams.

I'm constantly paranoid, I hate people sneaking up on me, I hate having to open up pocket knives, I hate having to be around sharp objects.

My mom has asked me if I wanted to go see somebody about it, I told her:

"No mother, I will not, I refuse to, there are other people that need more help than I. I will live with them. They cannot cure me. Everyone has the tiniest disease, these dreams are mine.."

I do not look to flow,

I do not look to the future,

And I try not to look at the past.

Everything that starts anew and me not know, I get scared...I get scarred.

I'm sensitive towards other people, yet I open my heart to show the world, what nobody sees all in one night unless they are cursed.

I've woken up with bruises, scratches, tiny cuts, and tears on my face. I've woken up my parents with a few screams. I fear that they worry, I do not want them to. I do not like pity...I do not like sympathy...I do not like people or things or other creatures to worry about me...I am me, with a disease.

I am me....And when I close my eyes...I am reminded of my disease....

These nightmares....

The murders that scare me, that chain me to Hell, because...maybe they really happened...

What would I do if they did?

The person is always the same....What if he's never been caught....

I've been trapped in a world, where if I close my eyes, I never see the face of this succubus but I see the color of his eyes, and I cannot wait until I escape this hell he has taped me to.

 

Everyone has a disease....Mine are my dreams..

Author's Note

All true. What happened if I dreamed and I couldn't do anything to stop it...

Reviews

[ewest1220]

I agree with Michael. Very well written and the details were amazing! Good work!

[Melody]

Thank you! :D This is by far one of my favorite things I've written. :)

[ewest1220]

I just discovered the favorites list... guess where this one is going O.o

[Melody]

:O THANK YOU! IF I COULD I'D HUG YOU!!! XD

[ewest1220]

lol you're welcome :)

[Dean Kuch®]

Even scarier yet is living a nightmare, and being unable to awake from it. Sleep is supposed to be a reprieve from the nightmares lurking in the world. But for some, it is only a beginning. This was really scary stuff, I suppose because it was true and genuine.

[Melody]

I hope that means it's good. :) Thanks.

[Dean Kuch®]

Oh yeah, it does! Thanks for sharing it with us all...

[Michael X]

wow, this is powerfully imagined with vivid detail that describe the horrors
of a nightmarish state of existence, from beginning to end, excellent job

[Melody]

I live with them nightly. Lol. Thank you Michael. :)