Unnamed

Though nothing 

Has been said 

With claims that 

All is known 

Seen 

Felt and 

Heard 

Failed acknowledgement 

Surrounds 

Anxious sad and 

Panicked heartbeats 

Run one behind the other 

And sad thoughts 

Start to swirl 

Bubbling up with 

The threat of spilling 

Over 

One day becoming 

Too much to contain 

And the forbidden words 

Spoken soft and uninhibited 

Can you hear their cries of pain? 

The silent screams 

In the dark? 

A heart that is weeping? 

The people all suffering? 

The boy slowly dying? 

Can you hear the girl 

Who is fading away?

Author's Note

Feel free to critique, I want to know what you think.

Reviews

[Tam Warink]

There's a lot of confused anguish in this piece, Meraki. How it's laid out seems irrelevant as the words, the phrases overpower any form. They say to me, forget what this looks like; listen to what I am trying to say.. my hands are open wide, lifted high, waiting for the touch of something that will lift me (and those I care about) up from this place that seems so desolate, so uncaring. Protracted caring can be so hard too. It can drain, numb the spirit, it can parch the landscape of the soul. A landscape that needs frequent renewal if we are to survive... perhaps some compassionate discourse to relieve the drought?

100 outstretched hands

[Meraki]

You got it! You completely understood it. Oh my goodness thank you. Thank you so much!

[Tam Warink]

If those comments raised you up, even a little, then that is my thanks and we are, perhaps, the better for it.

[Cid]

Review :
No one heart the voice of yours if you put your steps into the crowed world ... because no one is with you in this world because your born alone, you come alone in the life and you'll go alone from the life. The pain, happiness and worries and sadness are the part of the life and we live with it ..sometimes, our worst time makes us so weak to live with pain but when the good time comes it boosts us up to live with some fame ... So, this write's all about sadness and the darkness where if your trapped and whip for help then no one'd hear the voice of yours because no one loves to get involve in any kinda pain because they're already in much pain...no one's happy in the world and no one's sad in the world, happiness and sadness are what that balance the life ... to run it for the long time!

Rating : 100/100!
Note : This's a very great poem, a marvelous piece of the art!

[Meraki]

Yes pain and suffering seem to be the most felt in the world right now. And happiness is but a short lived lie to those who suffer daily, or a long lived dream shining brightly against a darkness that threatens to swallow them whole. And some wrap themselves so tightly in it's illusion as if it can be bought with money or won over with a smile that they start to give in to and believe the madness. Not very many people know how to be happy anymore. Thank you so very much for your awesome review my friend.

[R. L. Hill]

Very good! "Failed acknowledgment/Surrounds/Anxious sad and/Panicked heartbeats" This is my favorite line. I also enjoyed how you broke up the others. It gives a particular punch to each line as though the emotions of the moment (almost a pleading rant) are staccato and poignant. "All is known/Seen/Felt and/Heard". Good job. I would love to see more poetry from you.

[Meraki]

Thank you! :D I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Amorette Duvannes]

I really like this. It cries out in pain, but not in the simpering clichés often employed by writers these days. That last line in particular is something to be left on the mind of the reader for some time.

[Meraki]

Thank you!