Eyes

The longer he looked

The farther he fell

Her gaze was piercing

Her eyes

Her eyes held the dark mystery

Of a  midnight sky

The depth, wisdom

Of the ocean

And that hopeful warmth

Of the sky on a midsummers days

Steel traps full of life

Longing to be surrounded by her

To explore her

He dived right in

Reviews

[Addict With a Pen]

I personally love poems about eyes. They always feel very deep and passionate. What I like about this poem is how you added words like "depth" and "ocean" in the second stanza, then your last line was "He dived right in". I loved that. I think what you should do to clean this one up a little bit is to focus more on that topic. Whether you wanted to represent her eyes as dark or blue, I think you should add more of this "depth" feel. Something he gazed into, 'fell' in love with, and dived in. Great, great poem!

[.]

This poem was indeed beautiful and something to comprehend, which I appreciate very much. If I could say ANYTHING constructive, however, I'd say that you could maybe change the line structure (THIS IS BY FAR THE HARDEST THING IN POETRY)

Here's an example.

The depth, wisdom
Of the ocean
And that hopeful warmth
Of the sky on a midsummers days

Would make more sense to me as a reader saying...

The depth, wisdom of the ocean
And that hopeful warmth of the sky on a midsummers days

It kinda pieces the FULL idea together in one line, and gives a whole new perspective. ^w^

Overall, this was an incredible poem, which I and many can relate to in same way shape or form.

[Meraki]

Thank you. Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it, that you could relate to it and I genuinely appreciate your constructive criticism. It's so refreshing.

[.]

You're very welcome. I always enjoy something more perplexing than depressing. x3

Personally, I find constructive criticism to be a means of showing you actually READ the piece in detail.

[Meraki]

Me too thank you for reading my poetry.