For my Birth Mom

As I have stated, I was adopted at the age of 3 months old. And life was pretty hectic, yet in the end, my life came to be through my real mother, that carried me and gave me life.

Hi, its me...

I grew within your womb,

and no one knew,

just God and you.

I was so tiny and frail,

and you were scared,

yet you pulled through.

I could have been terminated,

yet you chose to 

give me a chance at life.

Once I came into this world,

there was a war raging,

and you were so young.

You were probably judged

and insulted; pushed aside,

and yet you loved me.

Eventually, you were left

all alone, struggling to raise

a baby, all on your own.

In the end, you fought

and tried to make

it work, but failed.

And in the end, a plan 

was formed, but not

so lightly, for you did love me.

I cannot say, that I blame you,

for I ended in the same

place as you, just a tad older.

Know that I love you,

even, if I cannot 

fully remember you.

You allowed me to live,

while others told 

you to get rid of me.

And you kept me close,

until, you could hide,

me no more.

God led you to that place,

where you ended 

leaving me behind.

He knew what would happen,

even if you nor I 

had a clue.

The only memory I have

of you, is when you 

knelt in front of me.

Weeping and crying, as if

the world was ending,

you hesitated, for just a second.

I being a babe, did not 

understand, yet something

deep within me shattered.

I wailed and tried getting up

off the ground, to no avail.

And struggled to free my arms, to no avail.

You had long, black hair, and were of 

small stature, just like me,

and were dressed so simply.

I could not see your face, for

your hands were covering

it. But wept you did and so did I.

As you got up to leave,

you took one last look

at me, and off you went.

I wailed and cried with 

all my might, as people 

passed me by.

Yet no one stopped nor wondered

how I ended up on the street.

They had no care for me.

And as I lifted up my head, 

towards your direction,

I could see you, looking back at me.

And after that you disappeared,

forever from my life.

And I was picked up by the nuns.

I was merely a month old, no more

than that, but that day, part 

of my soul died.

After that day, I would rarely cry,

for you never came back

for me.

I ended growing ill,

for I did not eat well,

nor did I care.

All I wanted was for you

to come and take me 

back in your arms.

Day in and day out,

I saw other strangers come

on in, and take babies away.

Yet, no one ever looked my way,

for the Nuns, stated that I was 

a weakling.

So, there I was, left 

to die, covered in filth and flies.

And even then, I never cried.

My skin broke out in a nasty rash,

and my hair started falling out,

and my body was weakened.

Part of me, yearned for your touch,

and your scent, knowing that you

were there, yet were not.

I missed you so, that when 

I would cry, it be a bitter wail.

And no one would even care.

Now, see here, in the end

God was always in control,

of my life and had not forgotten me.

So finally the day came, in which,

my new Mom, came for me,

and took me out of that awful place.

Her eyes were big and wide, and her skin

so cool and soft. Her hair,

so curly and such soft hands she had.

I knew deep within, that she was 

not you, but yet she chose to 

Love me still.

And so in the end, I gave 

up waiting on you, and decided

to give them a chance.

Life as God had planned

did not go so well,

yet in the end, I have survived.

Scarred and battered, bruised and 

beaten, yet here I stand.

God alone, has seen me through

hail and storm.  And I never 

thought of you long after.

Yet a part of me still longed for you,

whenever I was beaten, and I 

would wail and cry just for you,

yet you never came.

Here I am, a grown adult,

and single mother too,

and struggling day to day.

I wonder if you would want 

to meet me, and love me 

all over again.

I am sure you are married

and had other children, 

would any remind you of me?

Its ok, I am alright, cause God

is with me. And if we meet,

here on earth, I hope to be

welcomed back into your arms.

If we meet up in heaven,

I hope to be able to 

reconnect.  

For in the end, God used you to 

create me, and I was given

 the gift of life.

Thank you for having loved me so,

and given me a chance

of a better life.

It was not perfect by any means

yet I have learned so much.

And I thank you, even today,

for without you, I would not exist

nor would my own daughter be

here as well.

Author's Note

All pictures I got from Google.