Spirit Help Me

That breaking moment when you don't feel strong enough, you question everything in a relationship, friendships, yourself everything feels like it is going wrong.

So here I go failing again trailing the sin

Feeling like this is the point bailing begins

Because I was sailing and my ship started sinking

I was overthinking sober drinking over inking

My heart with tattoos, and that's new

So it felt good but I still didn't have to

I could craft you a verse full of logical reasoning

But still can't figure out loves ingedients

I know somebody believes in me, but I don't believe in me

So no matter what if shes leaving me  

Its my fault from the get go, I was deceiving me

Because I never became someone important I dreamed to be

And I think of my mother and how affection was shown 

And look in the mirror and wonder will I ever be known 
I'm talking about the comprehension of myself 

Mind, body and soul, taking hold of my health

And collapsing it, pop a pill lost track again

Now I'm back asleep, my happiness is just a whole act again

And my emotions are internally compacted in 

Try not to defend my theories so patience I'm practicing

The cup is vacant? not even half? so It's tragic then 

Doesn't add up, I must be horrible at intimate tactics when

All that she wants is to love me more through the touch

And all I have to do is learn how to give her that much

I get it I'm my own worse critic shutting me down 

I try not to listen to myself cutting me out 

Cause I hack at the roots with a habit to shoot  

Off at the mouth hurt feelings fall back and recluse 

And this anxiety got me feeling trapped in a noose

So Spirit help possibly attempt to give me a boost

How do I love?