Refrigerator Art

Refrigerator Art

A Poem by Epipsychologist
"

Please provide constructive criticism! I need help revising some things. Not for school (I'm not a cheater) but for my life.

"

Rejection sets in like a stain,
From so many small corrections,

Painted into a self portrait

That hides your acne scarred complexion,

And blemishes from childhood.

Bad marks in academia,
Smart like smoke against your mind’s eye
Like your dreams were a joke,
Which you were never smart enough to get,

Despite years of sleep therapy.

And now the leaves fall from the trees,

Like so much ash from cigarettes,

Like resignation and regret,

Like all you loved lost in a bet,

That you placed on yourself.

Your character begins to dwindle,
as false hopes fall away,

From the future you had framed,

In bad paintings.

And you feel like the stick figure you drew,
That became refrigerator art.

© 2013 Epipsychologist


Author's Note

Epipsychologist
Please offer constructive criticism. I'm think skinned and can take anything. Give me your worst, as long as it's honest!

My Review

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Featured Review

confessional type poetry that works for me..i like how you carried through the "painting" idea...you painted a portrait of the speaker that dwindled down in the end to him being a stick figure...

as if you lived life as poorly as you were an artist...

regrets falling like ashes from a cigarette..."despite years of sleep therapy"

really good line and stanza there.

we can only hide who we are for a time...we can stick to that illusion like the magnets stick to the refridgerator door...but eventually the magnets lose their power to stick...and they fall off the fridge, much like our dreams fall away...or our illusions...and then we see the bare us.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Epipsychologist

7 Years Ago

Ahh, I see what you did there!
I'm interested in how our unwavering past shakes illusions fro.. read more



Reviews

It's hard to criticise someones work when it is so honest. Reading this i'm getting an overwhelming sense of regret and and a bitter resentment towards the choices either, you or the protagonist have made so far in life. In other words, a lack of identity or an identity crisis (if they aren't the same thing). I may be wrong, maybe I am just taking your words and applying my own context to them. But even if that is the case, that's brilliant. Hemingway did the same thing with, 'The Old Man & The Sea.' Where it was so written well enough, that the interpretation could be whatever the reader wanted it to be. Nice one!

Posted 7 Years Ago


confessional type poetry that works for me..i like how you carried through the "painting" idea...you painted a portrait of the speaker that dwindled down in the end to him being a stick figure...

as if you lived life as poorly as you were an artist...

regrets falling like ashes from a cigarette..."despite years of sleep therapy"

really good line and stanza there.

we can only hide who we are for a time...we can stick to that illusion like the magnets stick to the refridgerator door...but eventually the magnets lose their power to stick...and they fall off the fridge, much like our dreams fall away...or our illusions...and then we see the bare us.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Epipsychologist

7 Years Ago

Ahh, I see what you did there!
I'm interested in how our unwavering past shakes illusions fro.. read more
It seems like a profile... instead of a poem. I'd ask what did you want to say or achieve with this? What did it release from you? and lastly I ask did it do what you wanted?



Posted 7 Years Ago


Epipsychologist

7 Years Ago

Thanks for the criticism Chris.
I wanted to get at the feeling of dejection, or of realizing t.. read more
Chris

7 Years Ago

A good depression is a terrible thing to waste... yep.

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317 Views
3 Reviews
Added on October 29, 2013
Last Updated on October 29, 2013
Tags: Resignation, Regret, Dejection, Depression

Author

Epipsychologist
Epipsychologist

Chester, PA



About
I'm heavily interested and influenced by psychology. I also appreciate philosophy although I haven't taken any courses since high school. I believe a good writer should want desperately and insatiably.. more..

Writing