Donald Trump: Clorox couplets

These are Donald Trump poems: Donald Trump couplets, Donald Trump limericks, Donald Trump sonnets, Donald Trump odes, and other forms of Donald Trump verse. 

Not-So-Heroic Couplets
by Donald Trump
care of Michael R. Burch

To outfox the pox:
kill yourself first, with Clorox!

And since death is the goal,
mainline Lysol!

No vaccine?
Just chug Mr. Clean!

Is a cure out of reach?
Fumigate your lungs, with bleach!

To immunize your thorax,
destroy it with Borax!

To immunize your bride,
drown her in Opti-cide!

To end all future gridlocks,
gargle with Vaprox!

Now, quick, down the Drain-o
with old Insane-o NoBrain-o!

 

Keywords/Tags: Donald Trump, coronavirus, president, poet, poems, poetry, heroic couplets, humor, Clorox, disinfectants, light verse, parody, satire

More Not-So-Heroic Couplets
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Roses are red, daffodils are yellow,
But not half as daffy as that taffy-colored fellow!

Donald Trump is hard on crime ...

unless it's his own grime.

Trump "love" is truly a curious thing ...

does he care for our kids half as much as his bling?

Trump lied and lied and lied.

Americans died and died and died.

Oh, what tangled webs they weave

when Trump and his toupée seek to deceive!

Not-So-Heroic Couplets: Not Elves, Exactly
by Michael R. Burch

Something there is that likes a wall,
that likes it spiked and likes it tall,

that likes its pikes’ sharp rows of teeth
and doesn’t mind its victims’ grief

(wherever they come from, far or wide)
as long as they fall on the other side.

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump's bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the man's wigging out, so beware!

Toupée or Not Toupée, That is the Question
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

There once was a brash billionaire
who couldn't afford decent hair.
Vexed voters agreed:
"We're a nation in need!"
But toupée the price, do we dare?

Toupée or Not Toupée, This is the Answer
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Oh crap, we elected Trump prez!
Now he's Simon: we must do what he sez!
For if anyone thinks
And says his "plan" stinks,
He'll wig out 'neath that weird orange fez!

Viral Donald (I)
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Donald Trump is coronaviral:
his brain's in a downward spiral.
That pale nimbus of hair
proves there's nothing up there
but an empty skull, fluff and denial.

White as a Sheet
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Donald Trump had a real Twitter Scare
then rushed off to fret, vent and share:
"How dare Bernie quote
what I just said and wrote?
Like Megyn he's mean, cruel, unfair!"

Red State Reject
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

I once was a pessimist
but now I’m more optimistic,
ever since I discovered my fears
were unsupported by any statistic.

The Red State Reaction
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Where the hell are they hidin’
Sleepy Joe Biden?

And how the hell can the bleep
Do so much, in his sleep?

Quite Con-trary
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
fat, balding and lumpy,
how does your Rose Garden grow?
"With venom and spleen
and everything mean,
and my gasket about to blow!"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
obese and dumpy,
why are your polls so low?
"I claimed I was Cyrus
at war with a virus
but lost every time to the minuscule foe!"

Poets laud Justice’s

high principles.

Trump just gropes

her raw genitals.

�"Michael R. Burch

Dark Shroud, Silver Lining

by Michael R. Burch

Trump cares so little for the silly pests

who rise to swarm his rallies that he jests:

“The silver lining of this dark corona

is that I’m not obliged to touch the fauna!”

Zip It

by Michael R. Burch

Trump pulled a cute stunt,

wore his pants back-to-front,

and now he’s the butt of bald jokes:

“Is he coming, or going?”

“Eeek! His diaper is showing!”

But it’s all much ado, says Snopes.

Mini-Ode to a Quickly Shrinking American Icon

by Michael R. Burch

Rudy, Rudy,

strange and colludy,

how does your pardon grow?

“With demons like hell’s

and progress like snails’

and criminals all in a row!”

Christmas is Coming

alternate lyrics by Michael R. Burch

Christmas is coming; Trump’s goose is getting plucked.

Please put the Ukraine in his pocketbook.

If you haven’t got the Ukraine, some bartered Kurds will do.

But if you’re short on blackmail, well, the yoke’s on you!

Christmas is coming and Rudy can’t make bail.

Please send LARGE donations, or the Cause may fail.

If you haven’t got a billion, five hundred mil will do.

But if you’re short on cash, the LASH will fall on you!

Keywords/Tags: Trump, Donald Trump, poems, epigrams, quotes, quotations, Rudy Giuliani, Ted Cruz, Cancun, Christmas, evil, democracy, coup, treason, treasonous, coronavirus, president, poet, poems, poetry, heroic couplets, couplet, humor, humorous, Clorox, Lysol, disinfectants, light verse, parody, satire, America