The Deserved

My castle I keep

as my mind flows deep

the water soaked edge

barren and steep

My own prison

beyond thoughts risen

Will I die alone?

or have voices driven

Tranquility base

or just wasted space

my grey matter yearns

to be put into place

Defective, broken

no more words spoken

show me a sign

just a small token

A storm coming in

my torment within

turmoil brewing

In relative sin...

Reviews

[Justine]

The whole concept of a castle with a moat around it symbolically reminded me of self-protection and being out of reach perhaps. The analogy works well if it's a troubled relationship with "a storm coming in". Easy flow and good rhyme. I liked this :) Justine

[michaelfixer]

Thank you so much Justine...your review is dead to rights

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

They say, “a man is king of his castle.” From the three poems that I’ve read, it seems as if all the candles have been doused in your castle. While I believe this to be true, I believe it is also up to the king to re-light those candles and take back his domain.

I think this is true for all of us, that whole “you’re responsible for your own happiness bit.”

While I often dance in the dark, I always strive for the light.

My hope is that you’ll do the same.

“The deserved” is what you make it, and I think you deserve the light.

[MysticalGlow]

I like this... esp the third stanza ~~~~ very well done :)