The Mocha Brothers Ride Again

The Mocha Brothers Ride Again (almost )

It's been quite some time when last the Mocha Brothers rode. I'm certain that's partly due to the fact we are both 72 years of age. Parts, not bike parts, but human parts, don't work quite like they did.

I pulled a hamstring muscle the last time I attempted to throw my leg over the saddle.

Not to be deterred from my ride, I suffered on. Later I paid the price dearly as my hamstring swell and then later bruised. It was quite the adventure.

I now use a modified fork lift to ease myself onto my bike.

I've thought of trading my beloved 800 Vulcan in for a more conservative Honda 50cc scooter, but I just can not do it.

Perhaps when my 800 cruiser falls over on me and crushes me to death I might consider it.

My partner has already downsized to a smaller bike.

His 750 Honda Shadow actually did fall over on him. Fortunately, nothing broke on either he or his bike. He sold it a week later.

"So," you are wondering, "are we just going to talk about bikes, getting old, and smelly old farts?"

Smelly old farts...that's my expertise. I can produce at almost anytime.

But to answer your question..."No."

I do plan to get to the topic of Coffee...sometime.

I haven't actually gotten around to going to all those places I said I would in my first edition of The Mocha Brothers Ride.

I've discovered I am a person with great aspirations and little motivation.

So, I sit at home most days and drink my own, home brewed coffee.

Sometimes I sit out by my pond with a warm cup in hand, and sip away at the freshest, best tasting coffee around.

Sometimes I will start a fire in the cheapo Wal-Mart fire pit, pull up a cheapo Wal-Mart folding chair, and enjoy a frosty, crisp, fall morning. You can't buy those at Wal-Mart.

Life just doesn't get any better, unless you pull a hamstring bending over picking up wood.

Please, don't ask. Seems I have faulty hamstrings.

It's kinda like having faulty shock absorbers on your car, only more painful.

"So," you ask, and I CAN hear you asking, " what is the freshest, best tasting coffee around?"

Well, I'm glad you asked.

First off, let me inform you, I am no coffee expert. I like what I like. I am not sponsored by some corporation or other entity, or outer space alien.

Just wanted to make that clear. If you're still confused, hmm, I can't help you anymore.

Coffee, coffee, coffee, what is it?

I don't know for sure, I just like it...lots.

The first thing to note is, there are a variety of coffees.

There are also too many coffee brands to count.

Apparently, the most well known brand is Folgers.

Don't you just love their cute little jingle?

"The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup."

I have to disagree here. I think the best part of waking up is WAKING UP, realizing you're not dead.

To me, that's pretty exciting.

Folgers has won over a lot of loyal fans with that slogan. Folgers is also a lot less expensive than some other brands.

Aren't they the same folks that claim, "It's mountain grown," or is that some other brand?

Just in case you're wondering, I think; and let me emphasize the word think... I think all coffees are mountain grown.

I haven't researched any of this. Geez people, I'm 72! How much time do you think I have left on this planet anyway? 

I'm certainly not wast it on research.

Pulling hamstrings on my bike...yes. Research...no.

I prefer a good educated guess over actual facts. Sometimes I'm right, but not often.

Maxwell House is another name brand coffee.

There are many, many other brands out there. They range in price from inexpensive to ridiculously expensive.

Some brands rest the quality of their product on the reputation of their name.

Take Starbucks as an example.

Is ten dollars a pound of Starbucks coffee a better deal than...say, $2.88 for a pound of Folgers.

Probably not. Is the quality of coffee better...most definitely.

That's just according to my amature taste buds.

So what makes Starbucks coffee better than Folgers?

I have an assignment for you.

Surely you didn't think I was going to do all the work. I told you already...I'm 72.

I don't have time for all this foolishness.

Go to your local grocery store and walk directly to the coffee isle.

Pick up a package of Folgers coffee and read the labeled ingredients.

Oh, and check out the price too.

What does it list as its ingredient?

Put it back...quickly.

Now, pick up a package of Starbucks and repeat the process you did with the Folgers.

Oh, and don't forget to check out the price.

Next...put it back...very quickly.

Now, pick up a package of Community coffee.

Check out the ingredients, and don't forget to check out the price.

Ponder for a moment what you have read, and what you may have just discovered, then  return the Community coffee back to its shelf. Take your time, it won't hurt.

Think for a moment. What are the differences between the ingredients of the Folgers, Starbucks, and Community coffees?

If you missed it, check again.

Come on, I know you can do it, you're still young.

If you found the difference, it's time to move on to the next phase of your assignment.

What is the difference between the Starbucks coffee and the Community coffee?

You might discover several differences, but one stands out above all else. What is it?

And that's it. My work is done.

As for me, my favorite brand is...get ready... Wal-Mart Great Value.

In side by side surveys, it beat out Starbucks and many other brands costing three to four times as much.

Did I mention I'm not affiliated with Wal-Mart? I should have.

I've thought about starting a Team Wa-Mart Running, Jogging, and Walking club, but I doubt they would appreciate some old fart representing their fine products.

This, of course, has nothing to do with coffee.

Have a great day.

The Lone Mocha Brother

Author's Note

Some things just have to be said.