One Small Second

For my sister, Hope.

The times I think nothing

My mind is blank

The times I'm not worried about

What others think

That one small second

between life and a dream

Is my only time of happiness

Well at least that's what it seams

If Its good than its bad

Like the rest of my life

I hate my life

I hate my life

If its sunny, there's rain

What the f**k is wrong with my brain?

Telling me pills will keep me sane

Would I rather feel nothing

or constant pain

Why is it that it takes me a while

Just to think of things that make me smile

no one understands what I think

or I say

Why wont it work when I pray?

That times when I'm not alive nor dead

Why cant I just stay in bed?

That one small second

Unconscious I lay

But I've got to make the best

of what could be my last day

When I die and I'm left

With none but a memory

Was there such thing as life?

Or is it just energy

My name's the one thing I lack the most

My name is Hope

I have no hope

So I will

I wont regret it

I hate my life

I want to forget it

Times I felt happy

I never really meant it

Forever I will live

In that one small second.