A Trip to the Psychiatrist

A man goes to see his psychiatrist.

“When did the, er… episodes… start?” Damian asked.

Peters leaned back, tapping his pursed lips, “Oh I’d say, maybe two… three years ago.”

“That long?” Damian shook his head, “How have you been dealing with them? I imagine it must be hard for you, to be like�"well, you know.”

“Oh yes, it’s very hard,” Peters said. “But I hide it well most of the time. People rarely even realize there’s anything wrong!” He shot Damian a lopsided smile.

“Yeah, yeah,” Damian rubbed the back of his head. “So, why do you think… um, why do you think this is happening? I mean, what do you think’s the cause of it?”

“Ah, I don’t know…” Peters spun his chair around a few times, “a whole number of things. Abuse, suppressed anger, undiagnosed mental illness, brainwashing by corporations, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing by aliens, abuse, surprised anger, undiagnosed… am I repeating myself?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Peters steepled his fingers, “what do you think?”

“Me? Um, this isn’t something I’ve really seen recently. Or ever, actually…”

Peters tapped his watch, “Time is money. I’m waiting.”

Damian sighed, and glanced at the clock. “In my opinion, I would say it’s probably an undiagnosed mental illness.”

“Yes but what specific illness?”

“Oh jeez,” Damian muttered, far louder than he intended. “That’s kinda hard to tell, we’ve only been talking for… what, forty-five minutes? I guess I’d need more time to think about it. To… uh, to analyze it.”

“Fair, fair, that’s certainly fair.”

“If you were pressing me, though. And I had to give you an answer right now, I’d say, maybe some sort of psychosis? You said the episodes are sometimes so severe you lose touch with reality.”

“Yeah! Good!” Peters settled back into his chair, “That’s a good guess. I never thought of it that way. Well I did, but I’m lying to you.”

Damian laughed, but Peters’ face was stony. He shifted in his seat, and after a brief silence, said, “Well, I think our time is about up.”

Peters looked at his watch and harrumphed, “Ah, so it is. See you next week then?”

Damian stood, “Um, next week? I’ll… have to see if I can fit it into my schedule.”

“No worry! No worry! Just come when you can!”

Damian nodded, “Sure… well, thanks for seeing me Dr. Peters, have a nice day.”