Deadly urge

Deadly urge

His mom worked late nights
to keep food on the table
he raged fights
each time he was able

so much rage
bottled inside of him
his dad left at a young age
for this he despised him

thoughts of killing
filled his mind
thoughts so chilling
they'd rattle your spine

the urge takes over
he goes in a dark alley
someone's life is gonna be over
he waits proudly

he sees a woman walking by herself
he puts a bag over her head
then punches her in the mouth

he beats, and rapes her
all of the beating
misshapes her

he pulls out a pistol
and hits her over the head
puts the gun to her temple
Then shoots her dead

He pulls the bag off to see her face
but what he sees
blows him away

he puts the gun in his own mouth
what he did was wrong
but before he pulls the trigger he utters out
"Sorry mom"

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

MIke - A chiller of a write here...Good to read your work…Thanks for the invite to read your thoughts to paper at Writers Café...I'm back to work with copy writer and doing my best to write 1000 words a day...and a subject you do not get to choose...will be busy the next few months...so I will read all RR"s might just take a bit longer to get a review...hope you understand...plus promote my book: The Onyx - Vena Amoris...for late next month release…I have very little time on my hands…making the most of everyday and taking today to read as many as I can…keep writing and sharing your creative talent here and elsewhere…

[MikeV]

Thank you , my friend :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[wordwarrior]

OMG!! This one is confronting Mike. BUT glad it's not factual, but here in my country a similar thing happened to someone who was out of jail on parole, grabbed a woman walking home from work, raped and killed her.
Just yesterday there was a march in her honour and also to send the message that violence to women must stop.
Your poem reminded me of this.
You wrote it very well and your words certainly made their mark!

[MikeV]

Thank you so much :) its always good to see you my friend! :)

[Tam Warink]

First, let's hope this not one of those cases where inspiration is based upon some morbid reality. After that, it's all down hill; it's easy to say that reading this tends to leave one a bit nauseous at the end but not before being thrown into the industrial-strength gears of sympathy, agony, compassion, horror, irony and wishing that it's all make-believe. Such a wicked write... you might want to consider wiping the blood stains from the tip; right there, where you jabbed into the reader's throbbing jugular vein! O_O

[MikeV]

First off, thank you for such a great review! Thank you my friend :)
Nah not factual. When i think of what to write, i think of either the absolute best, or the absolute worst
then i think of how to put it into words

[Tam Warink]

...mission accomplished! ;-)

[MikeV]

Thank you again my friend :)

[mark]

wow interesting story lol.
that's very different to what i usually read.
not one of my favourites but i guess everyone is different.
keep writing though man.

[MikeV]

Thank you, Mark :)

[mark]

no problem

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Very disturbing but good and well written.
i don't know if i like the story line to this one though haha.

[MikeV]

I figured the moral is, dont rape and kill random woman, the next could be your mom

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

The end blew me away. This one is cruel but hey, this is written pretty well! Love the darkness and the remorse and the emotions... Way to go, Mike, Another good job! :)

[MikeV]

Thank you, Blue :) much appreciated