I wrote this in a Craigslist ad once. This is the real about me.

This truth may condemn you...

I am an open book and hide nothing. Give me 2 hours, a full ashtray, and a couple of drinks and we might just start a relationship that legends are made of. Just know I am a blunt, sarcastic, a*****e, punk kid who says what he thinks and means what he says. 

Stats: 
6'0, Brown eyes, Shaved head, goatee, 193 pnds (Athletic lean Avg build) 
Tattoos (Back, chest, and 2 on left arm, planning on two full sleeves, filling my back down to my waist and adding to my chest) 
I have my eye brow and ears pierced as well (Not gauges though, I think they look retarded.) 

My name is Joshua Paul. I am pretty much an art kid immersed in bohemian and punk culture. I watch a lot of movies. Read a lot of comic books. Walk through the malls of this berg as if they are the gateway to my psyche. I seem to get my best thinking done while doing these small hobbies. It's like therapy. But more so I love to share these things with people. I love sitting down and watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia or Californication or Rescue Me and showing it to a new friend for the first time. Or even people who love it as well. I think thats what life really is all about. 

I am a silly b***h. I make am an observational humorist. I make fun of everything including myself. I love to laugh. I am uncool and proud of it. I'm a dork straight up. :-)

I work as a business to business rep for a local newspaper. I am also a musician/writer and artist. currently in the studio recording my first album. My music is a hybrid of Metal, Punk, Alternative and Folk music. I am also writing a book/screenplay entitled "Milk Carton Reject", a sort of coming of age story that deals with a character who defines his morality through his interactions with others in Las Vegas, NV. '

Before you throw a steriotype into my lifestyle though, know that I realize everyone who is a musician states on their profile that in some way or form, "MUSIC IS MY LIFE!", when really they are just fronting. Even though it is a big part of mine. It's something a little different. It's a mission. My music will probably never reach everyone in the way I will it too. For some they'll be looking for someone elses style within mine and if it's not to their liking they'll piss on my vision in an instant for the simple reason of it not following a formula they are accustomed to. It might not be true rock, punk, metal, noise, scene, scream-riddled, growlish hardcore, trendy, indie, or naive enough for the common household or teenage kid that thinks music either started yesterday or 30 years ago with nothing good in between. Hell, I'll play along even admit I am not really even that good. I am just a complex personality with an even more complicated story to tell. That will say something to you whether you like it or not. A man would have to be crazy to get joy out of rehashing his pain over and over and over again. It's not a hobby. It's the only way I bleed. 

I have several tattoos (Back, Chest, 2 on left arm w/more to come) and piercings. 

I never let people try to tell me who I am because I don't even know that for a fact. What half assed/half thought crap concoction do they think they can come up with? I am not going to lie and say I don't have problems. I have a lot of them. There is a big difference however between running from them and accepting and living with them. I am a victim's victim, a villain, a hero, an artist, a warrior poet, and musician as loner rebel with a cause of my own invention. I have changed for people and I do take pieces of other peoples personalities to form my own. It's a little something I call the theory of inspiration. I don't have a set style of fashion or music that I stick to. 

I was almost killed in a car accident in Los Angeles in March. I was hit by a semi from behind on a very rainy morning and I am truly lucky to be alive and at the very least be able to stand and function as a normal human being. I am not having one of those melodramatic "I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!!" type of moments so don't think that by any stretch of the imagination. But what I truly believe is that life is too short for me to be a tool. With my childhood already sucked away by people who thought they could brainwash me, I finally at 23 years old am finally experiencing life on my own terms. I feel we should all experience all possible aspects of life. Good bad or indifferent. Not to ask why we are here, or where are we going, but where have we been? F**k your routines, f**k your governments, f**k your structure, f**k your parents, f**k your values, and most of all f**k your conscience. Those only limit you and put you in a man made constant state of panic. 

But one thing and one thing only: BOWTIES ARE COOL!

I don't really have any expectations for relationships anymore. I know what I would like and what would be the best for me. However, that is rarely ever the same for that other person. Or maybe I am just like a dog chasing cars, I wouldn't know what to do if I actually caught one. I am just looking for someone to hang out with and connect with and take it from there. Just having respect for yourself is a must. I don't mind baggage or issues as long as they go with mine. I don't necessarily expect you to believe everything I say simply like good doctors always say, "Everybody lies." 

I have had very few serious relationships and the ones I wanted to be serious fall apart at the seams. Sure, I am a sexually driven scorpio male who has fornicated with more people then he can remember the names to and have dependancy issues. However, I haven't quite found a good reason to stay in a stable relationship which I can let myself be as open as an alter ego on an internet blog. I am just waiting for a girl to inspire me. 

I want to meet a girl that as of right now I only refer to as "her". Physically height and weight proportionate as I am and leads a somewhat healthy lifestyle and not to be shallow but I have no interest in dating someone who weighs the same or more than I do. I am not a healthnut but I am conscious about it. I don't want to date someone who is bigger than I am. She is a bad a*s, intelligent, artistic, and maybe even tattooed and pierced chick who shares the same mind set as myself. She would be able to support my music habits 100%. We could talk about anything, everything, and nothing at the same time while holding each other during the rainy nights and the worst of times. My romantic fantasy is to one day she would find our entire place decked out in candles burning and rose petals lying all about. I would begin to run the bath fur us. We would make love from the bath to the bed until we couldn't any longer, falling asleep in each others arms."When the sun came up, we were waking up. Sunk inside our blankets, sprawled across the bed, and we were dreaming." Someone who isn't afraid to walk around naked in front of me. Or if we go out and all she wants to wear is sweats and a t-shirt because she just doesn't feel like getting dressed up because she'll never have to worry about me proudly saying she is my girlfriend 

AIM: storyofafailurex 
Yahoo: survivorsguiltonline 
facebook dot com/joshuapaulhawkins 
Or text me: **********