Two Jack, the Rest Coke

A Poem by Griffin

He’s at it again, I say as I hear a glass shatter and unflattering things
Come from down the hall and the images these actions bring
Bounce around my head like the battering teenager playing the drums
Even though he hardly knew how

This isn’t the first time my father is pissed at a politician for saying
Something as stupid as his professional opinion and the fraying
Ends of the ropes of my sanity broke at the fact he was so drunk
He threw his glass of jack at the wall, again

Every day like clockwork he’d come home; 5:45 sharp and pour a glass
Of cap’n’coke, get wasted and watch the news until it was dark, plastered
To the point he’d yell at me or my older brother who was mastering the snare
In his room next to mine, so the duty fell to me

To make my father another drink, because he was too drunk to even think
Or get up off the couch he would sink into ever night, “Griffin, to make the drink,
You get the glass and fill it with ice up to here, pour two shots of jack
And fill the rest with coke, that should last”

And after a while the 10 year old me figured out that if you put more whiskey
He’d pass out sooner, so I, knowingly, got my father from tipsy
To wasted before 8 PM because I wanted to sleep for school the next day
So I wouldn’t come in and have to say

“I didn’t get any sleep” to the teacher as an explanation as to why I fell asleep
While Ms. Lawrence was reading the first Harry Potter to the class
Because I was a slave to my father’s glass throughout the night
And it seemed no one tried to fight

For me, not my mom, not my brother, not my uncle or cousin who’d
Occasionally stay over because Uncle Ed didn’t have enough money to keep
His apartment, so my Mom would let him sleep in the guest bed
I often wondered if his head, hurt as much as mine every night

But I just figured that it didn’t because no one seemed to notice
That my father was blisted and screeching like a banshee at Dennis
Who was on the O’Reilly Factor again, I often wondered, if anyone
Even noticed me run

From my room, after jumping from my chair while playing PS2 to the kitchen
To fill another glass, while my brother played the snare drum fast
To make our mother happy because she was just as much of an a*s
As my father was to the both of us

I often wondered if anyone cared about me as my childhood drowned
In a river of bourbon until 1 AM every night when my father finally fell sound
Asleep because he built up a tolerance to the now 4 shots of 87 proof
That I put in his drink to make him aloof

And the two lessons I learned, or more accurately had burned into my memory
When I spilled his drink one night and he took his cigarette and branded me
His 11 year old son, without hesitation, I learned that I couldn’t pick my family
I was stuck with them forever

And second; I learned that the only person in my family who actually loved me
Was my father, because he was the only one, who taught me anything
Other than being quiet and staying out of sight, he paid attention
While I made his drink for when he was binging

He was the only one who talked to me when I was awake at night
Because I was pouring him the 5 shots of whiskey in each drink
He was the only one who wanted to keep me in sight, not order me to my room
To listen to the then intricate drumming

That still resonates in my head to this day that came from the brother
Who would torture me for having no friends and called me gay because
I didn’t have a girlfriend until 7th grade because I was too tired to
Interact with anyone because I was up all night, without his help

And the only reason things changed in 7th grade was because my mother
Got rid of the only person who actually loved me, she divorced my father
And he moved to the other side of the country because he didn’t want
To be anywhere near her

And the night before he moved, out, I had a jog of my memory
I remembered how it all began, I remembered the first time he showed me
How to make his drink, 2 Jack, the rest coke, so I made that
At age 12, thinking he’d remember and instead he got pissed off
Because it was too soft and he wanted to drown his misery