Sweetie

"I'll talk to you later, 

Sweetie."

I smile,

Blush,

Push the hair from my face.

Walk with a bounce in my steps.

He calls me,

Tells me I'm gorgeous,

Tells me I'm his

Sweetie.

It's like there is Vaseline on my teeth.

I grin,

I laugh,

I tell the world,

That I am his

Sweetie.

I don't see him for days.

I think of how nice it will be when we meet again.

Then, I spot him.

Across the room.

A girl with him,

Smiling,

Blushing,

Pushing her hair from her face.

I stare,

Watch his lips

Form the word.

"Sweetie."

Author's Note

I should stop writing like this because I feel as if I'm making a fool of myself.

Reviews

I really love this piece. Narration and dialog make great poems when you let the dialog speak for itself, which you did. It reminds me of a bukowski poem the way that it sort of ravels into a nice climactic moment at the end. Very nice sounding. thanks.

[Moonflower]

I love this style, I write like that from time to time too. Its creative and fun. :) great write. I think most girls have met a guy like that and can easily relate to this. I like how you don't put to much feeling into it, you just put the thought out there and leave the feelings to the reader. Very nice ;)

[Natalie]

I don't think your making a fool of yourself. I actually really like the way you wrote this poem. Everything in this poem just came together and complimented each other. It was great, and I loved it. I also loved the story. :D

[SilentDreamer]

Why stop writing? I loved this. A story within a poem- how perfect. It's very creative, I really liked it and how well it flowed. It just worked so well. Awesome job. Keep writing! :)