My Religion

Kneeling to this god i praise
i am vunerable and weak
an idol made of porcelain
i am too moved to speak

This used to be in my control
the decision was my own
now it seems i've lost the strength
my will power overthrown

 

I can't escape this mess i've made
no matter how i fight
my living hell is getting worse
i swear i'm not alright

 

Trying to go back in time
erase that sad mistake
but knowing that i can't
my body starts to shake

 

Crying now, i beg and plead
to the empty air
my demons are all taunting me
i give in to this dispair

 

For a moment it feels so good
to cleanse myself this way
but then i'm washed with shame
and i push everyone away

 

If they knew my religion
they'd never understand
how bulimia becomes a god

why i surrender to its command

Author's Note

There are a few lines I'm not so sure about.. Any help is appreciated.

Reviews

[lb]

I have so been here`n at times retreat back even at 31
It's a constant struggle, but one worth fighting


This is a really great write, very powerful indeed `n one many can relate too
It sucks that people have to feel so much pain, but in the pain`n misery one can grow to find their inner strength love`n light`n in return help another
love`n hugs to you

[shewrites]

Breathtaking. I always thought about my bulimia like worshiping a porcelain god so to hear another say these words so raw and close to home really moved me. Great job. It's perfect.

[Bran the Broken]

ahh...frightening, yet darkly comic in a twisted, sad way....bulimia and other similar disorders can be such powerfully seductive enemies :(

[Mariah]

It's overall a very powerful poem, especially the ending verse.

[Fantasyfairy]

Such a dark and sad place to be. It does get better, but crawling out of the hole is the hardest step, and the first is always the worst. A dark piece of poetry but written from the heart. XX

[Rain]

Extremely powerful. I'm not going to preach. I'm here to review what you've written, and I am impressed with the honesty. Still, the human in me wants to hold you. The poem will look good next to your casket. You're loved, Rain..

[justjenn_2u]

The porcelain God. I am sure bulimia can take over you. I have seen it destroy a few friends. I hope to read a follow up poem on beating this demon!

[Ju Ju]

I like the last stanza
It is a great twist to the end
And I like the rhyming
This is very good