A Soldier's Hell

This was composed to the driving strains Santana's screaming guitar and Clapton's wailing guitar in their collaborative performance at the Crossroads Guitar Festival.

A Soldier’s Hell

If eyes are the window to the soul, then why?…

Why can’t they see Hell blazing in his eye?

Mortally wounded spirit cries… the hellish chasm gapes

Over his every tortured nerve another memory scrapes

Darkness personified with every remembered face

Wounds of the soul so deep Time cannot erase

If eyes are the window to the soul, then why?…

Why can’t they see Hell blazing in his eye?

Honor and glory gained for gory deeds

Guilt cuts like a knife while murdered hope weeps

The eyes take in what the hands have done

The soul forever sees the black victory won

If eyes are the window to the soul, then why?…

Why can’t they see Hell blazing in his eye?

He closes his eyes to live out hell replayed

To wish just once, his hand could be stayed

His every step… every breath now death haunts

With demon souls of his dead his vision taunts

If eyes are the window to the soul, then why?…

Why can’t they see Hell blazing in his eye?

On his shoulder all his dead… faces pushing the slide

Every soul a demon howling… powering his final ride

No stopping him this time… no one to catch as he fell

His demons dragging him down… dragging him down… 

down… down… down to Hell!

If eyes are the window to the soul, then why?…

Why can’t they see Hell…

Hell blazing in his eye?

Hell blazing…

Blazing…

Blazing in his eye?

by D. Denise Dianaty

Author's Note

I was listening to NPR, to a couple talking about their son, who returned form Afghanistan. They'd been so thankful he'd returned uninjured. His suicide devastated them. Something they said, when they were talking inspired this poem. They said he was physically unharmed, but had a "mortally wounded spirit."

It also reminded me of something my grandfather said once, about how it felt returning from Korea. He said everyone expected him to just get over it and put it behind him; and, that their expectation was "like a knife in the gut."

Anyway, I hope to set this to music, in collaboration with a couple of old-time, hard-rockin' guitarist I know. Maybe something with driving strains like Santana's screaming guitar…

Reviews

[Sindu]

A powerful message! Solider's definitely go through hell, on and off the field. There is a passion in this piece that makes one feel and sympathize! The rhyme and rhythm are brilliant!

I remember listening to an interview of a psychologist, where he talked on a topic of eroding humanity of police and soliders who serve for a long time. Apparentely, when they hurt, kill or torture someone, a piece of their humanity disperses till a stage where they no longer behave humane. They become violent, destructive and depressed. It's heartbreaking for some one who helps millions to face an internal battle of that sort.

Amazing write as always Momzi! Thanks for RR!

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks. It is a difficult thing to watch in someone you know.

[Sindu]

Yes, very much. You're welcome.

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…

[~]

The drawing takes the poem to a whole new level. The lurking of death... A sobering read. Thank you for sharing.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much.

[~]

:) Welcome :)

[David Lewis Paget]

An interesting lyric, Momzillah. I don't think that every soldier is affected in this way, most of them come from a tougher breed, with the motto 'it's us or them!' Hesitate, and you're lost. I think ISIS has taught us that, slaughtering 500 soldiers from the Syrian army who failed to stand up to them but fled, and paid for that with their lives anyway. Barbarism can only be countered with barbarity, which is where our milk-soft democratic philosophy will fail us in the end. When a soldier kills, the State stands in for the soldier's conscience, as he is killing on their behalf, and under their orders. So I suppose I stand in opposition to the bleeding hearts who always want us to be nice to everyone. The cry that 'they're people, just like us' doesn't ring true for me when I see them holding a soldier's decapitated head in their hands.

[MomzillaNC]

I agree with your perspective while they are fighting. They're there to get the job done and they're going to do whatever it takes. It's after they come home again, when they're trying to move on and haunted by the things they'd never contemplate doing in a mundane life -- the peace for which they fought and fight so valiantly. Much of their struggle to find their place in peace again comes for our lack of understanding what they've done on our behalf.

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks for reviewing this and for your words of support for what our heroes are asked to do by us.

[Jamestown]

This is terrific, wow, I really enjoyed this, great write.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much.

[icelandicblue]

My father too is a veteran and never talked about his experiences. We knew not to ask but I don't think we realized the depth of his pain. It was only near the end of his life that I found out about some of that time in the military. I cannot imagine what it does and has done to millions who have fought wars for centuries. War is hell and it's not over just because you come home. A very important message in this poem.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. Yeah, my grandfather didn't talk much about his experiences until near the end of his life. Then, he couldn't seem to quit talking about them. I often wondered if it was because Gran was in the nursing home and he didn't have that closeness to keep him looking forward any longer. My poem, "Move On, Move On…" is about them. But, this poem, though his stories were part of the inspiration, was really set off by a story I heard on NPR from a couple dealing with the loss to suicide of their son, who'd returned from multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…

[therisa]

Momzilla, PTSD is, a very insideous condition, to be identified with. I know, from very personal experiences, caused by trauma, as a 4 year old child and years of physical and psychological abuse, at home and on the schoolyard. Even doctors have trouble identifying it, and added with the "macho attitude" that exists, in society and the military, it's not surspiring that no one caught this poor soldier's cries for help.

I hope, each unnecessary death brings us, closer to a solution, to this preventable waste of life. Thank you, Momzilla, flashing a light upon this urgent problem, which faces all of our military and first responders.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you for your review. I'm honored it touched you so deeply.

[therisa]

Your welcome, Momzilla.

[therisa]

My dad served, in the RCAF, during the 1950s and early 1960s, he did two tours, as a peacekeeper, in the Middle East, and rarely talked about it. I wish he had.

[MomzillaNC]

I think the culture of military service teaches them not to share. I think that's part of the problem.

[therisa]

Sadly, that culture hasn't or won't change.

[MomzillaNC]

Actually, I think it is changing now. The Internet has a lot to do with that change. It's started a conversation and that's opening people's eyes, making them aware and motivating them to do something, to reach out somehow. I don't think they've figured out what to do yet; I think folks are rather at loss what to do.

[therisa]

I know, the Canadian military has punished those, who have come forward, seeking help for PTSD, by declaring them, unfit for duty. Thus, cutting them off, from the treatment, they need. While, cutting back, on the support payments, to a lump sum, to cover their medical expenses, in the future.

[MomzillaNC]

The US hasn't done anything that severe. Some guys have fallen between the cracks of the system. But, they do try to get help to the men and women whose need can be identified. It's going to take a long time, but I really do think things are changing. Five or ten years ago, no one even talked about these issues.

[therisa]

The Minister of National Defense has announced that the military is reviewing this policy. I don't trust the current federal government to do the right thing. They're more concern with the bottom line, than people's lives.

Sad, but true, Momzilla.

[MomzillaNC]

Our republican politicians are the same in most areas of government these days. But, republican and democrat alike need to at least be seen trying to do well by our vets, so more effort is being made to help them than ever before.

[therisa]

I agree, but a faster pace.

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…

[ANM]

Mental scars take the longest to heal .....

[MomzillaNC]

So very true. And, too many of the returning vets are not getting the help they need to learn to live with their war experiences.

[ANM]

Very true, to many young men and women believe they can be soldiers sadly very few can actually handle the consequences.

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…

[ANM]

The sketch is very well done!

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[ANM]

You are welcome

[BClancy]

Wow, a very powerful and quite moving poem, although heartbreaking. It wasn't his fault, yet the soldier was exposed to such horrible and gory things. I hope I never have to experience such hideous sights that soldiers face every day. Great poem, I really liked it.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. Much has been written on the subject. Sadly, I think we'll be writing on this theme for many years to come.

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…

[BClancy]

It's a very good drawing :) I really like the whole composition of the picture.

[MomzillaNC]

tyvm :)

[Travis "Phoenix" Caldwe..]

PTSD is a horrible thing, as this poem is clearly stating. Whether its seeing friends killed in horrid ways, killing someone you wish you didnt have to, etc., a poem like this will make a veteran feel better in my opinion. Poems like this show a person from war that there are people who understand what they been through. I have a lot of vets and active service people in my family, so I like poems like this. A truly beautiful poem.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you so much.

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…

[Malister Mikey]

I rather enjoyed this poem, It flows great and has a very solid message in it. Happy to of read it. Many of my family have seen war and it's a common topic that can be very relatable to those who have fought.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I hope to post these lyrics set to music before too long.

[Malister Mikey]

Sounds like a good plan

[MomzillaNC]

I was inspired to make a charcoal sketch for these lyrics as well…