Doin' the Humpty-Hump

in the time of Trump

Doin’ the Humpty-Hump

 

 

The devil is a businessman, he buys and sells and barters

He sells us paint and dungarees and Stormy Daniels’ garters

He is a cruel and shameless man, who likes to rattle bones

and forces us to eat croissants and check our mobile phones.

He doffs his hat like a diplomat as he tiptoes through your mind

(politeness helps to skin the cat when you’re the colonizing kind)

The devil courses through our veins, the devil washes out our stains

the devil rocks, the devil rolls, the devil steals immortal souls

 

....in bits and pieces.

 

The devil tells outlandish tales

of beauty queens and alpha males

who seek to become the boss of us

who fly to Africa in private jets

to shoot the last rhinoceros

and fly back home to make the scene

with a girl of ten or twenty, or somewhere in between.

As the music hits its highest note

we start to grind and bump

the DJ snaps his earpiece on and we’re doin’ the humpty-hump

Beneath the spinning globe and glitter

in the mirror we make out a glimpse

of unicorns and flag lapels, of powdered w****s and pimps

Never mind what’s false or true

we’ve more important things to do

we shake our fist, we’re livid!

the devil says a mirror only has the form

we give it.

And somewhere else, not so far beneath the earth

is Hell

where skies are blank and all is prison

the devil says there’s a place for us

and who's to say there isn't?

 

Part Two

A trumpet sounds!  A liberator!

a 24/7 defibrillator!

A savior, yes, a fleshy fellow

his aura glows a reddish yellow

tortured hair and trending digits, he can’t sit still, he tweets, he fidgets

ensconced inside our Mighty House, he puffs his chest like Mighty Mouse

and gives off fishy, phony fictions 

basking in the contradictions.

Uncle Crazy’s on the loose!

He likes to dance the humpty-hump and shake his big caboose

so dance we do and hump we must

til craps roll out and we all go bust

as he squats before the TV rooting on the monkeys and baboons

fingering the keys with which to feed us.

 

Sunday morning we bow our heads

the Book of Revelation held before us

How long, O Lord

How long wilt Thou refrain?

We do the dance, we say Your name

we exempt ourselves from any blame

we do the humpty-hump and make it rain.