Me.A Poem by Morell Shroom it's sad. trigger warning *pills *fire Here we are. At this point they should decide what to write. they cannot come to think of anything. they think for now they will simply type what’s on their mind. what if their mind is empty. An empty jar. It fits. They’re tired. They have not slept for days. They cannot. Sleep is difficult. Maybe sleep is not necessary. It is raining. Pouring. But the water is inside. The sink. It is turned on. It is almost Christmas. Presents. Candycans. Fire.
Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. She liked fire. That night they didn't know she had a lighter. She liked fire. Food. Humans need food. They need food. They think. They’re unsure. Like always. Never knowing. Years of wondering. The answer? What is it? The music goes faster. They start sweating. They’re nervous. They start breathing hard. The music is slow now. Soft and flowing. They never had hair like that. The girls always had long hair in school. They did not like the girls. The girls always made them feel uncomfortable. The girls always made them feel like an outcast. Their face starts getting hot. They’re mad. They scream in fury. They find they have no mouth. They never had a mouth. The notion is unfamiliar to them. Noise? It is only silent here. In their brain. Fire. Roaring. Hot. Fire reminds them of her. They start to feel better. Thank you. No one is there to hear their gratitude. They tug down their sleeves. You do not know them. They do not know themselves. Therefore do not trick yourself into believing so. They fail to say anything. People always talk to them. All day long. Never a break. Always work work work. work work work. Work work work. Work. They’re tired again. Were they ever awake? Is this just a bad dream? Maybe. They will not know. The lack of knowledge is killing them. They’re afraid. Afraid of what? Everything. The future. There is no future for someone who cannot leave the bed. Sugar. Sweet. Candy. No candy can be bitter. No child can be sad. No adult can be happy. What is in between? Darkness? Light? Do not tell them not to feel. They can be violent. They need a nap. 11:13pm In a chair. By the fire. They have a laptop. They write. Classic music vigorously playing. Dark academia. They never liked classical music before. this is new. They write faster. Faster than ever before. Do not fear. They pace themselves. The pages turn faster. Faster. Faster. The violin plays softly as the music shifts. Soft. Slow. Their heart rate slows. Keeps in pace with the music. Warm coffee by their side. A christmas tree with no decoration. No gifts wrapped underneath. Merry. Have you ever seen skies gray? trees gray. They dance. They waltz underneath clouds. Pouring upon them. Their dress. Perfect fit. Drenched and heavy. they keep moving. Running. Jumping. Dancing. Keep moving. They run out of breath. That is ok. Keep moving. Remember. Keep moving. Keep moving and you will never have to think. Never have to speak. Never look back. Grab their hand. ...keep moving… They open their eyes. It is morning. They mourn the loss. The loss of forgotten memories. No more. No more. No more. They cannot handle this. No more. Once they walk out that door a new day begins. They cannot decide. Sleep? Sleep. Sleep long. They will be tired the next day. They do not mind. Pills. They do not like pills. They dislike pills They hate pills. They despise pills. They take the pills. All of them. Maybe they shouldn’t have. They will be fine. They cannot be worse than before. They left the room. The pill jar unopened. They go to the bathroom. They turn off the sink. They look in the mirror. They find a stranger. The same stranger they always see. The double check the sink. They see their hand. One hand young. One hand old. They’re unsure who’s theres. They always ace. They check their phone. No notifications. Normal. They have no friends. No companions since her. She is gone. But they should’ve been the one who left. Goodbye. © 2020 Morell Shroom |
Author
Morell Shroomkansas city, , MOAboutI'm not a good writer but I'm very creative and I have a few things I am working on more.. |
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