A Story by Mr.Allegory

She fingered the curls of her long, brown hair nervously as she stood in front of Heap Manor. The Rumor around London had been that the old mansion was haunted"having had multiple deaths, and even a few murders.  Who knew if the rumors were true? Maybe they were just that"rumors. But she was having a hard time convincing herself that it was all false, that they were all stories and nothing more. From the gated land, to the Old English architecture, anyone would believe the dark stories. The girl looked back at the group of friends who sat in a parked mustang, laughing to themselves in a drunken stupor.

“Hey! Elena! You’re not turning into chicken s**t are you?!”A guy shouted over the roar of the car’s engine. He was a guy who fit perfectly into the jock stereotype.

“I think she’s scared shitless.” A blonde girl laughed"one arm around the jock, the other pouring cheap vodka down her throat. Elena rolled her eyes and groaned. She had to prove that she wasn’t just a goodie-two-shoe. That she could go through with a stupid, childish dare. What could it hurt? She lifted a shaky hand, gripped the door handle and turned it slowly. The door gave off a rusty croak as it slid open, revealing dusty furniture covered in molded sheets. She turned toward the group of friends who watched in disbelief.


“Who’s chicken s**t now, huh?” Elena shouted, forcing a smug smile. She turned back to the open door. The smile instantly left her face. Why does it have to be at night? She bit her bottom lip and stepped into the dark, wide space of the house.

She squinted, trying to distinguish her surroundings. She could make up a worn couch, a broken antique lamp, a stair case, an old piano and a figure"she gasped sharply. A mannequin stood still in front of her, with its life like features and nature beaten body. She quickly looked away, tears beginning to fill her green eyes. She reached into her back pocket and retrieved a lighter. She lit it revealing a bright orange flame that illuminated the large room. Shadows danced every which way, causing her chest to tighten and stomach to turn.  Okay. All you have to do is find the mirror. Piece of cake, you can do this. You can do this. She tried convincing herself but her unspoken words did little to help.

The dull sound of her friends shocked voices flowed through the open front door.  She eyed the stairs, figuring the mirror would be in a bedroom and the bedrooms would be on a higher floor. She took a deep breath and began to climb the stair case. She warily glanced at the creaking stairs, not so sure if they would hold her weight. From the sound of them, she didn’t think so. She watched each careful step before reaching the second floor.  The second floor held a wide array of rooms. She held the lighter up high and peered down the hall. She muffled a scream. She turned away from the row of mannequins that stood in the east hall. She began to walk the opposite way. She fought the urge to turn around and leave, to just admit to being a scared little girl, run home, and coward under her blankets.


The flame of the lighter flickered violently before going out. She tried lighting it again as she felt cold, hard lips brush against her right ear. “Get out” the lips whispered, and she began to scream.


The car’s engine rumbled softly from in front of heap manor

“Wait, wait. Did you hear that?” The perfectly stereotyped jock asked after taking a long drag of his cigarette.

“Hear what, Brian? I think you’ve had a little too much to drink.” The blonde laughed.

“No, I’m serious. I think I heard a scream.” Brian shut off the car engine, snatched the keys from the ignition and listened intently. “I could have sworn I heard a scream.” He mumbled

“It was nothing. It’s probably the alcohol talking.” She stated casually and wrapped her arms around his slim waist.

“I can’t believe she’s going through with it.” A Goth looking girl in a mini leather skirt, black lace tube top, and knee high boots said half-heartedly. 

“I mean, seriously. She must really be desperate if she’s willing to go into that creepy a*s house at night or even the day time. I wouldn’t risk it. There are way too many stories about that place. To be completely honest, Brooke, it freaks me out”

Brooke glared at the girl with disdain “Anna, you’re not telling me you believe in those ridiculous stories are you? Because if so, you can step right out of this car and go home.” The blonde stated with an expectant look in her eyes.

“No…I’m just saying…” Anna mumbled and fiddled with her silver pentacle necklace.

Brian took another drag of his cigarette and flicked the ashes into the street with a confused look etched across his features. Brooke caressed his well-built chest with her free hand.

“What’s wrong baby?” she looked into his eyes. “You’re acting weird.” He flicked the bud onto the street and sighed.

“It’s nothing.” He flashed a crooked smile. “Everything’s cool. Maybe someone should go check on her and see if she old man heap hasn’t murdered her.” He said with a smile. Anna giggled and Brooke rolled her eyes.

“Ugh! Not you too.” Brooke sat up and raised an eyebrow at Brian.

“What? I know it’s just stories. Relax” He gently took her by the chin and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips. 

“I love you.” Brooke whispered against his lips. Brian smiled and kissed her several times more. Anna looked away awkwardly.

The three of them jumped as Elena’s panicked voice ripped through the silence. They all looked up in surprise to see Elena running towards the car, tears falling down her face.

“The stories are true” Elena gasped as she reached the car. Elena clumsily crawled into the backseat next to Anna.

“What did you see?” Anna asked with sincere concern. Brian’s features were painted with curiosity and worry.

 “What are you talking about?” Brooke asked, clearly annoyed from being interrupted during her moment with Brian.

“I’m sick and tired of people and these stupid stories. It’s just stories! Get over it!” At her last word the door to the mansion slammed closed causing them all to jump violently.

“Ohmigawd! What the hell was that!?” Anna screamed. Brian glanced from the house to Elena who sat with her face buried into her folded arms. Brooked stared at the mansion in disbelief then shook her head.

“It was just the wind. Calm down.” Brooke assured. “Are you okay? What happened?” Brian asked with urgency. “Elena what’s wrong?” Brooke rolled her eyes. Brian watched Elena with pained worry in his green eyes.

“We need to get out of here.” Brian shoved the keys into the ignition and started the car.

“What!?” Brooke yelled, “The b***h didn’t even finish the dare.” Brian gave her a look that held no room for negotiation.

“Fine, Whatever.” Brooke threw the vodka bottle onto the sidewalk. The sound of shattering glass filled the air as Brian pressed the gas and took off down the street. Anna fiddled nervously with her necklace, and Brooke angrily stared out of the window. Elena looked back at the house catching a glimpse of a mannequin standing unearthly in front of a broken window of heap manor before disappearing from view. She let out a fearful sob and shut her eyes through the rest of the drive.

© 2012 Mr.Allegory

My Review

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I really liked this story; it has a nice balance when depicting the frightful/creepy experience of the one who entered the haunted house and the uncomfortable disbelief of the three who didn't.

If I may say so, I'd suggest that this has sequel, or series, potential.

Posted 11 Years Ago

The entire story seemed to have an ambiance of macabre, muted colour. You did a fantastic job delineating the setting without overly describing anything as well as the characters and their emotions. The transition from Elena's perspective to that of the other teenagers' was precise and well done. You were able to capture both ends of the urban lore paradigm expertly (fact and fiction) as well as the doubtful centre. Fantastic. I love the enigma the piece has as a whole.

Also: Did you place each high school stereotype in here purposefully?


Posted 11 Years Ago

trolololololol i liked it i know it probably wasnt meant to be a comedy but i just found it humorous stuff like this doesnt creep me out great job though the characters seemed really......uhm.....like the popular kids in school you know? Well anyway that's all i gotta say i finally read/reviewd one of your pieces :3 *sorry bout the spelling errors kinda in a rush*

Posted 11 Years Ago

Keep in mind that I've already read all of your works, but I haven't had the chance to review them. So the time gap between my reviews might seem slightly unrealistic. I'm a fast reader but not that fast.

I loved this story. The dialogue was fantastic and I crave dialogue. Just as much as I love description. Creepy~

It was a nice read...

Posted 11 Years Ago

interesting story

Posted 11 Years Ago

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5 Reviews
Added on March 16, 2012
Last Updated on March 30, 2012
Tags: story, Short story, short, fiction, blegh, blah



Lancaster, CA

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