The espresso shot.

Bitterness in life is inevitable. What you can control is how you react to the inevitable.

"I said I wanted a cappuccino, not espresso latte!" said Helena, almost yelling at the guy behind the counter.
Helena, a 22 year old girl, had just barely been out in the wilderness that we call society as an independent woman. She had been working as a journalist and usually got quite frustrated when she received her pay-cheque. She still needed her big break in the professed to get that promotion's cut.
"It's the same with each and everyone of you!" exclaimed Helena at the top of her voice, " you have no idea how hard it is to make a living around here especially for a woman, and I, for one, am not going to spend
my hard earned money on something I didn't order!" The cafe manager arrived at the scene and tried to solve the dispute. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience ma'm, won't happen again. Please take your seat, your cappuccino will be served to you there." Helena took one of the seats beside the window. The cafe wasn't the best one in town, it was a shabby old place, big enough to accommodate fifteen people, twenty at the very most. But Helena would come here on a regular basis, so she could see her house just across the street. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Helena to regroup and prepare herself for the challenges yet to come.
Helena had a troubled childhood. She grew up in the slums, where her father worked as a clerk in a government office, and her mother used to sell baked goods. She didn't have much friends in school, but she was attached to her mother, who died off cancer when Helena was sixteen. Since then, It was just Helena and her dad.
She jerked her heard and threw her blonde hair back, put her head against the glass window and gazed at the cars whooshing every now and then. She would do this every time she needed to feel free from all the worries of the world. It would be just her, and the coffee.
Just as her cappuccino arrived, a man sitting on the counter exclaimed, "You know" he got up, " there's not much of a difference between a cappuccino and the latte you just went haywire over."
The man appeared to be a businessman,all suited and booted as if he were off on a business trip. He was in is late fifties. His grey hair well set, and an unusual sparkle in his eye and a charming smile on his face.
"Excuse me?" Said Helena, as if offended by the stranger's remarks.
"Hey I'm just giving you the information you need miss, no offence meant."
"And why would I need to know that Mr.........?" Inquired Helena. "James," replied the man, "James Peter"
Helena was awestruck, "THE James Peter?! The owner of the NOVA enterprises?!!" "And an active charity worker for the mentally incapacitated," He remarked, "and you needed that info because I think you worry a tad bit too much and fight over petty little things Ms. Helena Anderson." "How did you know my name?!" asked Helena as she almost spilled the cappuccino on herself in shock. "Easy their kiddo! It says right there on you journalists badge." said James with a wide grin on his face, "mind if I have a seat with you?". Helena nodded and felt quite embarrassed at her sudden outburst but quickly recovered,
"Well Mr. James, being born on a master bed and raised in a privileged family, as yourself, does not give you or anyone the authority or right to judge people they've just met!" said Helena as she pulled up the collars of her tattered coat. "You don't even have a clue about the hardships people born and raised in the slums have to face. And you think you can sit around in your gucci suit with a smile, and just think that everyone ought to smile more just because you don't have any problems." James chuckled, " My point exactly Ms. Helena, you worry too much over the bitter times that you forget to see the brighter side of things." Helena shook her head in disgust, "As I said Mr. James you have no right to pass judge people like me!" "All right," said James, still smiling,"don't go crazy on me now." He turned to the bartender,"Hey Marco! I'll have the usual one please." The bartender nodded," coming right up Mr. James."
"So, what's a guy like you doing in a shabby little dumphole like this?" asked Helena as she took a sip from her cappuccino. "Same as you," replied James, " I like the coffee here." Just then Marco came with two small cups filled with black coffee - espresso shots - and put them in front Mr. James. "How can you even drink those?" asked Helena in a disgusted tone, " I wouldn't have if it were given to me for free!"
"It's to exemplify the significance of bitterness in life kid." replied James, "If there's no bitterness in life, there would be nothing for you to try to overcome, no challenge whatsoever. All in all, you get a boring life." At this point, Helena stared James with extreme curiosity. "Sometimes," James continued, this time making a direct eye contact with Helena, "life gives you bitterness so often that you get used to it." He took the first shot in his hand and said, " But a time comes when that bitterness fades away, and you look back at the time and ask yourself, why was I even worried?" He then took the entire shot in one gulp. "Just like an espresso shot." He continued, shuddering from the bitterness
, " but it's completely up to us what we infer from the event, remember it by the bitterness and you'll never be happy, but remember it by how it helped you grow into something better, you'll always find yourself smiling." He sat up again, his face still smiling and eyes still sparkling as ever.
Helena was still curious about where this conversation was going. She thought if she could get an exclusive "interview" from the famous James Peter, it might serve as the breakthrough she had been looking for. She put on her game face and tried to act natural. " Any bitterness in your life you would like to discuss Mr. James?" she asked as she took another sip from the cappuccino.
James saw right through her, and began to laugh fanatically, "a journalist being a journalist," he exclaimed as he wiped the tear from his eye, " I've been around one too many to know when they would start looking for their 'scoop of the century'." Helena seemed disappointed, she thought she blew her only chance to get that story she wanted. "But tell you what Helena," James continued," I'll give you your interview anyways, not because you need it as a journalist, but because you need it as a person."
Helena, excited by the response, couldn't hide the sprightliness in her expressions. "You better take out a pen and pencil for this one kiddo, you'll want every bit of detail in this case." said James. With his lips still smiling, eyes still shining and face looking graceful as ever, he began his tale, a tale of woe to some, and a source of inspiration for others.
"I was born in a scruffy apartment building in NY," he began , "not on a king sized bed as some critics would claim, but on a frayed couch." There was a sense of liveliness in his voice that just didn't seem to go away. "My dad was a stockbroker, and my mom a housewife. It wasn't the most striking place in town, but it was home." His eyes began to twinkle as he continued the trip down the memory lane. "My grandparents used to live with us. They weren't very educated, but still they were the best one could ask for." He tittered to himself, "I remember my grandad taking me to the construction site just a couple of blocks away from our house when I was little. He took me there because I used to love playing there. He would take me there and I would play all day in between the sand and concrete, until one day, I developed a breathing problem. My dad took me the doctor and he said I had developed some kind of a skin problem thingy, I can't remember the name now, which coincides with his breathing problem, and it must've been developed from staying in an un-hygienic environment." Helena got a a little cranky at this, "With all due respect your grandad should've seen this coming, why would anyone take a child to play in a construction site in the first place?!" James giggled ," Because he knew that I loved playing there, and he just wanted to see me happy thats all, it's not his fault I developed allergies." He took a pause, took a sip of the second espresso shot, shuddered off the bitterness and then continued. "Meanwhile, my parents had me admitted in kindergarten. Oh what a wonderful time that was, one would just play all day without worrying about the bills, or anything else for that matter." His eyes glistened as he recalled that time. "I even met my first bully there." He laughed. Helena took a jolt from her seat, "A bully?! In kindergarten?!" "Is it so hard to believe? I mean everyone loves to mock the weird boy at school, it's plain hunan nature. We've all been bullies at some point of our lives, we just don't admit it." Replied James, his voice still calm. "I learned early that there are always going to be people who are going to despise me for no apparent reason at all. But I've always found these people to be the most helpful out of everyone else." Helena was confused, " How can someone who hates you do you any good?" "It's very simple," James explained, "It's as the hipsters say these days ' they hate us cuz they ain't us'. You find something they don't like about you and be good at it. Quite often that something leads to accomplishments." He took another sip of his espresso, and looked over to Helena, who was still processing the advice she had just got. "You should finish off your cappuccino kid before it goes cold." Helena sheepishly took another sip from her cappuccino. "Please carry on Mr. James." "A couple of years later, I developed a sweet tooth. And a year after that half my teeth were covered in plaque." James chuckled again, as if savouring the moment. "My parents took me to a nearby dentist. He pulled one tooth out and cleaned the rest. A week or two, later I developed jaundice, and was later on diagnosed with Hepatitis B." Helena looked at James, completely awestruck at the jaw dropping news she had just received. "Apparently," James continued, his smile still fresh as ever, " the dentist didn't sterilize the instruments and I got the virus from there." Helena was furious, "that guy should've been thrown in jail for this. Didn't you parents sue him, or at least punch him in the nose?"
James laughed, "No we didn't sue him nor punch him in the nose." "Well why didn't you?!" Inquired Helena in an astonished voice. James smiled to himself, "When word got out, the dentist approached us himself, claiming he was sorry and was even ready for jail," James took a short pause, smiling still, "but I heard my dad say, 'the damage has already been done, throwing you in jail isn't going to cure my son. In compensation however, I would like you to promise me to be careful next time, so any other family wouldn't suffer from the same consequence.' And that's where I learned the most important lesson in my life, no matter how bad or bitter the situation is, it can always be tackled with a sweet and positive attitude." He took another sip from his espresso.
Helena just sat there, gazing at the strange man in utter disbelief. She thought to herself that she couldn't bear her coffee get exchanged and yet here in front of her, was a man who forgave someone for something that might have been fatal. She couldn't comprehend James' mind, was he playing with her? Was he giving her what she needed to hear? Or was all this really true? With such commotion going on in her head, the only words that came out of her feeble mouth were "Carry on."
"Lets move on to school life shall we." Said James with his sprightly as ever, " I wasn't a very popular brat in school. Everyone used to look down upon me, they would call me names and used to bully me around. Once this one bully made me throw up deliberately in front of the whole class, just so he could do it again the next day. But at the end of the day, I was still smiling, because I believed treating everyone with positivity, will eventually change their attitude towards you." His smile widened, producing wrinkles on his old weary cheeks, "And it did." "How did that happen?" Helena asked, this time remembering to attend to her cappuccino as well. "Well one time during recess, the kids were playing soccer. I was watching from the sidelines when suddenly one of the kids hit a volley and it hit me straight on my chest. I fell on the ground, almost motionless, nearly unconscious, and unable to breath." His smile grew more lively, "I don't remember much but what I do remember is when I opened my eyes, the kid who bullied me was the one yelling at everyone to get out of the way as he hurried me to the school doctor. He sat there by my side until I was able to get back on my feet again." Helena wiped the tears from her eyes, "well thats something you don't get to hear everyday." Helena exclaimed in a shaky voice. She looked over to James while she took another sip. Apparently, he looked like the rich philanthropist type, with a privileged background. But at that moment, she truly realized why it was wrong to judge a book by its cover. "I have one question for you Mr. James. Did you ever fall in love with someone?" Helena looked closely as his smile grew even wider, as if laughing heartily, and his eyes glimmering more than ever. "Ah yes," he exclaimed at the top of his voice, " Yes I did." He took a big sip from the shot, and then continued. "Her name was Kim. We met in high school." His expressions as if he remembered the thing like the day before. "We went to business school together, and after graduation we got married. She gave me the most cherish-able memories among all others." Helena could see the love and affection in his eyes. "So where is she now?" She asked in excitement. Just then, the smile on James' face began to fade, until it disappeared completely. For the first time during the conversation, James wasn't smiling. "Two years after our marriage, we got jobs in two different places of town. On our anniversary, I got an early leave from the job, and came home to decorate the house. I wanted to surprise her. She would usually be back by 6 pm. I waited for three long hours for her to be back home. I tried calling her on her cell phone but she had left it at home. At around ten o clock, I got a call from the local hospital that Kim had been in an accident on her way home. And that she and my child were dead." Tears rolled down his wrinkled cheeks. "And the funny thing his," he said trying to fake a smile, his voice now trembling in distress, "I didn't know about the child. She had been keeping it as a surprise for the anniversary." Tears rolled down his cheek, went down to his protruding chin and fell off, splashing at the table just beside where he put his shot. He took the shot, and ended it in one gulp. He looked over to Helena , who just couldn't bear this, and was getting more sentimental than James. Seeing this, he got a hold of himself, "But i'm still thankful for the time I got to spend with her." His sprightliness returning, his eyes began to shimmer again. "I get to cherish each and every moment I spent with her, and thats what matters." Saying this he offered a napkin over to Helena, "here wipe yourself kid, you look like a mess." Helena took the napkin, and wasn't sure what she should say now. "I.....I'm sorry for your loss Mr. James." She said with a shaky voice. "And It's completely stunning that how are you able to smile after an incident like that." James grinned again, "It's like I said earlier Kid, remember life by the good times and you'll be the happiest person around. Remember them by the bad ones, and you'll find yourself at the bottom of the sea of misery." With this he got up and walked towards the door. As he opened the door, he turned to Helena and said while giggling, "I hope you won't fight over getting a latte next time now." Helena laughed, "I don't think that would be a problem anymore Mr. James, and thank you for the interview." She said jokingly. "Happy to oblige." Replied Mr. James as he left.
Helena saw him through the window as he left. She no longer looked at him as a businessman, but as one of God's soldiers, with the mission to spread the message of positivity among mankind. She now fully understood the significance of the espresso shots Mr. James had ordered. Just like the shot, life gives you bitterness in all stages of life. It is up to you whether you want to savour that bitterness and let it mould you into someone better, wiser and happier, or you can whine and complain about the bitterness, ignoring the savoury part that lies within. The choice is there, chose wisely.

Author's Note

It's my first time showing my writing to anyone besides myself. What do you think about the main plot , concept, and moral lesson of the story? And how well do you think was the concept executed? All criticism welcome

Reviews

[Perkele.7885]

I just read your piece and I am still thinking about it! You expressed the moral lesson but it could have been done much more judiciously. The concept of your story was a sound one but, did not need so much plot development to be effective. Overall, your writing skills aside and a given, too much time and words were expended here on an important but, what should have been a small piece of subject matter. I wish you well!

[jeannemarie coulter]

a clear informative read...found no major problems in the writing...characters introduced well and real...keep writing...

[Sesame]

Hello Salman,

Big step in showing your writing to others. This way you will learn and improve. I will give you some feedback. These are my opinions, do with them as your please. I hope they will help you to improve.

First to answer your questions:
- main plot: well, I find it hard to discern 'a plot' here, there is not much to the story's development. Two people are in the same coffee bar (given fact), one is a journalist (given fact) and one a interesting person (given fact). There is not an action of one character that leads to the progression of the story in some way or the other (except maybe for the drama over the latte). So 'plot' is a big word here.
- concept: well done, accidental meet in a coffee bar: it sets the scene/location, timeframe and limits the characters. Excellent situation for a short story to happen.
- moral lesson: it is a good lesson, although it is repeated so often that I became a bit tired of it. The repetition during James' narrative actually weakens the lesson in the end. In my opinion that is where you want the lesson to have the big impact. No? My suggestion is to leave out the moral lesson repetition until then.
- execution: well below are some of my suggestions regarding this. Overall your writing is a bit sloppy and sometimes things just don't add up. But I am not going to edit the entire piece, I'll just give you some useful examples just so you get my meaning:

" had just barely been out in the wilderness that we call society as an independent woman. " -> please rephrase, now it seems like 'society' is taking the form of ' an independent woman'

"It's the same with each and everyone of you!" -> I get that this is your meaning, but this sudden outburst is a bit incredible, I felt the bartender should have done more to annoy her.

"Does not give you or anyone the authority or right to judge people they've just met!" -> the previous suggestion is even more strange when you read this sentence. Helena is lecturing James here, while she just judged a bartender as ignorant towards scraping a living. This sounds a bit hypocritical to me. Especially since the man she is shouting at is working as a waiter in a coffee bar, a job that I can imagine pays even less than a journalist. So this guy probably DID know all about scraping a living.

"But at that moment, she truly realized why it was wrong to judge a book by its cover." -> See, why this theme confuses me? In this sentence you make Helena realize something that she was lecturing him about a few lines earlier. This doesn't add up/is not credible.

"22" and "ma'm" => I find it a bit strange that a young girl of 22 gets called ma'm.

"big enough to accommodate fifteen people, twenty at the very most." -> does not add to the story to name two sizes of this place, it is not referred to anywhere else so just tell us something like "large enought to fit 15 people.'

"But Helena would come" -> "would" indicates that in the future Helena will be visiting there. I have feeling you mean "came" saying that she already visited this place often. (Although it is a bit strange. From the story I gather that James is a regular too. Why didn't they run into eachother before?

"She jerked her heard" -> typo "head"

"sitting on the counter" -> was he really sitting ON the counter or AT the counter? This detail makes a lot of difference to how you introduce your character..

---
So in general: make sure things add up, revise the story and fix tense errors and typos. I would have like a bit more of a build up to giving the interview. Maybe make them leave and meet again in the same coffeeshop? Make sure your ending statements/conclusion/lesson is strong and if possible surprising, this means dropping out the repetition.

Did I already say that I did like the story? No? I did, especially the 'forgiveness/positivist' examples of James.

Keep writing!

Regards,

Sesame

@followsesame on Twitter
www.themagiccave.com

[Salman]

I can see the content of the story wasn't as clear, and the ambiguity is enough to throw someone off target, i'll be sure to ammend the current mistakes and for the next time, I will keep this review in mind, thanks sesame :)

[Sesame]

Hello Salman,

Your reaction to my review is making me feel a bit stupid to be honestly. You give me the impression that I have completely misunderstood your story. Since I always spend a lot of time on my reviews, I at the least want to know I have not done so in vain. So please help me to understand your story then.

- Why would you say that the content wasn't as clear? (I feel I have understood the content perfectly well.)
- And I also do not understand what you are referring to with 'ambiguity', please explain. (I cannot find ambiguous elements in this story.)

Regards,

Sesame

[Valentine]

Very interesting write. Love the last paragraph. Valentine

[DBKaine]

Hi.
The general grammar needs a little work. But your detail to feeling, sensation, environment etc is REally good. It kept me reading. I like the fact that Peter James is portrayed as an older gentleman. I could see his character more in my mind because of how you described him.
I really like this piece of work and would look forward to reading more. Have you completed it as a novel? If you haven't, then you should. Please send me some more, I would love to read it.
DBKaine