Marriage

Marriage can be difficult

Living every day

Falling into a routine

Its something you get used to

 

Before you know it

You realize all the time

All the time you put into it

All the time you’ve gone on

 

The days come and go

You wake up every morning

You have a daily routine

You end the day exhausted

 

But what about everything else

Does it just get jumbled up

Does it become just a routine

A habit of words and actions

 

How do you know

How can you tell

You can’t because it’s a habit

Its something you’ve been doing

 

Its feels right, it feels like love

The fighting and making up

It all feels right

But deep inside you know

 

So what now

How can you be sure

Just yesterday you argued

And at the end said I love you

 

Just yesterday

There was frowns then smiles

There was tears then laughter

There was coldness then passion

 

But as you think back

Were you just playing

No you weren’t playing

It was just the thing to do

 

Its something you just did

But did you mean it

Maybe at that point

Somehow you felt it

 

Maybe at that point it felt right

But as you think back

As you look and analyze

You life has gone by

 

Nine years have come and gone

Nine years a of routine

A habit because it seemed right

Because you didn’t know any better

 

You thought you were in love

How do you know

When you are no longer in love

Its hard because it’s a routine

 

Deep inside you know

You know things have changed

Now what do you do

How do you figure it out

 

You have to be strong and carry on

Or perhaps strong and move on

I think for many years I carried on

I have realized its time to move on

 

What a difficult decision

But its something that I have to do

For the both us

We must move on

 

For the love that was once there

For the happiness that we deserve

For the peace that comes within

We can no longer carry on

 

So as I figure this out

Think about the next step

Think about my life

Think about my family

 

I must do what is right

I need peace, we all do

The peace that will come

From ending a marriage

 

A marriage that’s had its trials

Its ups and downs

Its good days and bad days

More bad than good

 

How sad it feels to finally admit

That there have been more bad

More bad days than good days

More fighting than laughing

 

For so long I acted

Pretending there was happiness

My heart pleaded for happiness

But it was all a charade

 

Its now time to face the truth

The end this life of unhappiness

To start all over

It is time to finally move on

 

It will not be easy

My life became a routine

And now I have to figure it out

A new routine, a new life

 

So how do I start

Where do I begin

How do you say its over

How do you say goodbye

 

Nine years … nine years

It is not easy to walk away

To turn around

And say goodbye

 

You must think it through

Talk it out … nine years

That seems like so long

Almost a decade of your life

 

Yes a decade of my life

In a routine, in a habit

A decade that has passed

A decade that has come and gone

 

A decade that I will never forget

A decade in a marriage

Loveless or lifeless

But still a marriage

 

It was still my marriage

And I tried, I carried on

Not just a habit

Because at one point I was in love

 

October 5, 2007

 

Reviews

[larryb]

Nicely written about a subject that affects most of us...........

[Michael X]

the reader can feel your every bit of heart and soul in this writing which really defines
the emotional breakdown of "marriage" as your words cut straight to the heart,
quite astonishing in this regards, the overwhelming sadness of seeing something as
special as a marriage slowing being broken away, slowly falling apart, as each piece
crumbles like sand to where nothing exists except memory, though if love grows apart,
its worse in my opinion to remain in a failing relationship because it holds back
those involved from true happiness, this is brilliantly done serendipity, beautiful

[Christina2]

I am there, at the crossroads and it is killing me. Just a heartbreaking. A defeat and a longing for something, something. Thanks for sharing.

[The Lady]

Very well written. I had the same feelings and had the same thoughts after 6 years of marriage and we after we talked we both decided it was better for both of us to depart. It took a while for me to get past the "normal" routine, but gradually it phased away. Stay strong.

[Imperfection]

After reading this piece, I thought a lot.
And I finally came back again to write here...

I believe that love is a good reason to get married to someone but is is it enough?
Is it enough for two people to live with each other and for each other?

I wish I was wrong but I'm afraid that I'm not.

Very well written.