Pine

A girl meets a sweet innocent man in a cafe in Paris. As she is talking to him, her life flashes forward seeing her life with him--she flashes back and walks away. She passes on in the end.

Pine

 

Sitting in the café

Sipping my last cup of tea

Surrounding my eyes of pink steam

Out of that cup of tea

The swirls distinguish my thoughts

Painting my heart

For every broken dream

That was crushed by you,

James.

The steam turns to rain

Pouring on me

The blank stares of others

Enter the premises of my mind

Slowly, but softly

Curling up in the corner of my eye

Wasn’t it easier when you first believed in me?

The darkness overpowered your soul

And you reckoned to breathe it in

Not just breathe it in,

But suck all the heart and soul out of me

I still believe in you

When the light kept changing

As the dark clouds kept passing by

Our life, together

Has passed on,

I’m in another dimension

Fighting the lost souls that never made it to the light

But, I never forgot the day I first met you

In our favorite café

Under the Eiffel Tower

In Paris

Sipping our favorite tea

I thought I was one step closer

To the day when we were going to love each other for

A thousand years

I will always love you

The way you made our days’ worth every penny we threw into the fountain

Every pine tree we fell asleep under

All the destinations we made it to on our list

I still have that list

I kept it all these years

It’s felt like a thousand years since I’ve seen you last

I can remember the first time I saw you and when you said,

“Hi.”

Suddenly I see,

Why you mean so much to me

I feel that breeze and smell of the pine

Under the eclipse moon

You said you loved me to heaven and back

Suddenly I see,

Why you mean so much to me

When my heart gave its last beat

You weren’t there to say goodbye but I always will love you

To the moon and back

Heaven’s waiting for you and your soul when it returns

To that tall sweet and innocent man

I wish I was that lucky girl

Who found the man of her dreams

Living off pearls and diamond rings

But I died a lonely, missing piece of my heart, cold, red girl

Who burned in a fire..

They’ll never guess how it burned all down

My little house with me trapped inside

You’ll get a letter in the mail to my funeral

You’ll show up and see me dressed in black

Lying, dead and cold in a red casket

You regret everyday knowing that I still loved you and never stopped searching for you when you disappeared the 31^st of February on a rainy night in Paris

It gets so hard and I hope your bones break to flow your blood all over the grave of my soul

You’re a hostage now

You’ll never escape the loneliness of your soul

You will sleep with every woman that looks like me

But never feel how you did with me

It gets so hard,

It burns your soul,

I hope your soul burns in the depth of hell

Just so I know,

You will feel again and know what broken hearts feel like

Even when I’m dead 
I’ll always love you and will never stop

I will wait for you here

Love is hard, the pain and sorrow will never stop beating

In every regret you wish was undone

I always learned to live half alive

In a house that was never whole

In a city that never screamed

I grew too strong to never stop looking for the love that taught me how to leave a scar on a soul that deeply was loved for

I know one day your heart will seal with a sight of me

Someday I’ll see your sweet face and I’ll still love you

After my life of half and half

The love is too strong to break my hold on your soul

I reminisce to that café

After I flashed forward

I blow out the candle and walk away after I got your number

I never called or saw you again

I couldn’t bear another heart break

The truth hurts, the lies are worse

I loved you a little less every step I took in the fall of small droplets of cold rain

I let go and never played my broken strings

It was never real, but one day I’ll hope for a love that’ll never break my broken strings, but play them every time a tear hits my cheek

Let me hold my breath

Go under the deep water

And stop my own heart from beating.

 

--Alisa

2/14/13

Author's Note

What do you think of the overall story that was written?
It's fit for a girl that wanted true love but never got it because all her dreams were broken by James.
Thanks.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think it is very moving..the only suggestion would be to leave the name "James" out of it...then it becomes universal to any reader who has experienced a similar situation...

but very descriptive...we feel the slight antagonism in the piece..."you are sorry you didn't treat me better aren't you?"