The Box

An intro to a possible book.

“This is the Box,” the voice said, muffled through the walls of the Box, “The Box is completely steel and completely sealed.”

Emmett rubbed his temples, only just awaking from his unconsciousness. His legs where curled up against his body, against one cold metal wall of the Box. His head rested uncomfortably on the opposite wall.

“You’re not going to pass out again on me are you, Mr.Belz?” The muffled voice echoed through the Box, somehow augmenting the mocking tone. Emmett could only summon a dry croak in response, he didn’t even know if the man could hear him. Although, at this point, he didn’t care much; his head felt as if a blunt object was probing his skull with every heartbeat.

“Good. You will need to be awake. I am leaving you in the Box, and I will not free you. You must free yourself… or die.” he paused, letting the last part sink into Emmett’s mind. And it did, like an icy cold snake that slipped through his mind and down his spine.

This is unreal; I can’t possibly be kidnapped right now. Not me. I must be dreaming. Emmett thought between the throbs of pain.

“No you’re not dreaming. This is as real as it gets.” The man corrected. The icy snake of fear returned when he realized the man had just read his mind.

“Who are you?” Emmett demanded, his unsteady voice echoing unpleasantly loud in the confines of the Box.

“You do not need to worry about that right now. What you do need to worry about is how you are going to get yourself out of the Box.”

Emmett felt the walls around him with his hands in the complete darkness. There was nothing but solid, flat steel on every wall.

“But there is no way out!” Emmett howled.

The man smirked, “Oh but there is! And you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

He couldn’t mean- oh, not magic! He frantically thought.

“Oh, yes… magic!” The man said. Emmett could hear the excitement in his voice, even through the steel walls. “You know what you must do, Mr.Belz.”

And with that, Emmett was left with the sound of muffled footsteps receding away from him.

“But I can’t do magic, that’s insane!” Emmett shouted at the walls of the Box. He said it, but deep down he knew it wasn’t true. Deep down he remembered all those times when he really needed it, somehow the laws of the world twisted around at his will. When he fell off the hotel balcony on that vacation, when his pet hamster awoke from its death in his hands, and that one morning when he woke up, quite confused, on the roof of his house. Never did he call it magic, just dismissed it as strange happenings; but maybe, just maybe…

I must be insane. He thought as he dropped his head against the wall. He tried remembering what happened before this, but his memory was just as black as the Box around him.

As he sat in the Box helplessly searching an empty memory, one name suddenly came to him: Gale. Then the whole day came roaring back into his mind like a freight train destined for hell.

Author's Note

I'm still deciding whether I should take this idea and write a book out of it. Is it exciting enough?

Reviews

[Red Brick Keshner]

Yes, it is interesting enough. :-)

[klewis]

Ooh, this looks interesting. Just some thoughts:

- I like it when authors begin with dialogue. Something about it right away draws me directly into the story. Also, great job with just getting it started; I've read to many shorts that begin with making the reader trudge through back story first.
- Grammar is good (yay!) too. There are a few commas you could look at, but nothing distracting.
- Love the dialogue tags. they really show the personality of this voice guy. One thing, though, how can we tell the man smirks if we can't see him?
- So far, Emmett's voice is pretty believable, although I wasn't expecting him to put things together so quickly. How did they kidnap him? Does he remember that at all?

So the mystery is great, even though a little background can be added without detracting from the story. Making it a book is your choice, but I would definitely read it if you end up posting it.