Let it out

The scare in there won’t let me go. It won’t let me be free.
I’ve measured failure from all sides now, and sure enough it’s me.

Here in my office as the WebEx conference drones. The PowerPoint showing trend.
I’ve no passion for the topic. I just want this to end.

With that attitude, I’ll never reach the top of the charts.
I’m headed for the middle with average marks.

It’s just not worth the hours, the toil for money
but something must start my heart. It really isn’t funny.

There’s something deep down side, kicking to get out, something to make me feel.
I’m past childhood dreams that didn’t become real. What’s knocking now wants a better deal.

I go to write but the ink drops, not flows.
Work was never going to be enough. Its mandatory behavior blows.

I go on bouncing, can’t sit still.
I don’t know how to use this energy. What hole do I need to fill?

Fear-of-lost-time keeps me from social media, YouTube and memes.
So many things I could do. What’s my big theme?

What’s that something I have? It’s not money for which I yearn.
Inspired then uninspired. It’s a pointless emotional burn.

Then I snap back, and desperately care.
It’s peace of mind I want to snare.

Time’s running out. I’m getting old. I’ve got an expression that doesn't want to be controlled.
But with obligations real and dreamed, it’s hard to be bold.

I want to be adored for lines that inspire.
If it’s there, I must set it free. Or else the scare in there will have its way with me.

Reviews

[C.E.M.]

Consider ditching your desk job and moving abroad to teach english as a foreign language. Just a suggestion... based on my real life dreams. Loved your piece. Keep doing this. Never let them take that creative within!