Letter to a friend

I was staring at a blank screen, trying to figure out what was going on inside my head and this was the end product. Just some insane ramblings which probably doesn't make much sense but needed to be said. I didn't edit or alter this in any way, so feel f

 

Hello my dearly devoted friend,

 

I know it has been a while but you know, you brought me nothing but despair as I tried to walk out of this bittersweet relationship of ours.

I know you are always there, under layers of clothes you patiently wait. Hidden to the rest but trapped inside my mind, making it hard for me to resist, even thought I know that this isn’t right. I should have gotten rid of you, yet strangely, I can’t

 

 

I don’t need you,

That is what I keep telling myself but strangely, I still keep you.

 

Thinking back, you always were;

 

My safety net,

When it felt like I was falling too far

 

My sanity,

When everything else failed

 

My guiding light,

When darkness called my name

 

But mostly

The one thing that kept me out of my early grave

 

Cold to the touch you brought me warmth. I know that doesn’t makes sense, specially for those who doesn’t understand this friendship.

 

This unconditional love…

 

Love for the dimensions you brought to my life,

Being my savior, my strength .You showed me kindness, a sense of incredible relief

 

So how could this friendship be wrong?

 

Condemned by the masses, I hide you away meeting secretly almost everyday.

Rekindling our “tell no one affair”

It feels like I am cheating on life, hiding inside the dark corners of the night. Cursing God’s light whilst looking up into the skies remembering Macbeth’s words, like it is all part of a nasty dream…

 

"Stars hide your fires, let light not see my deep and dark desires"

 

Over and over again, they maul inside my head,

Whishing that everyone could just let me be,

Let us be…

Yes, I am your slave, you my kind master

I would follow you willingly, no questions asked. The problem is, how do I explain this?

 

How do I make the people understand?

 

I know this isn’t normal, so how could they even begin to comprehend what this fatal attraction is all about. They who stand in the light, do they even know about the dark side? The side, whose existence took over such a big part of my life,.

 

You are like a drug, a sick addiction, making me insane as I sometimes sit, craving your touch. I hear your voice taunting me with your devious chants

 

“Are you alive?”

 

“Are you alive?”

 

“Are you alive?”

 

 

Always the same three words, over and over again, knowing just how to get me back within your demonic hand. Leaving me torn, as you laugh knowing what is going through my thoughts

 

Am I?

Am I really?

Maybe I should

Just one little one

Just to make sure

Nobody would ever know

 

Emotionally I cannot and will not express myself. Never again will this world see another tear shed by the eyes who is forever now wearing a disguise.

 

Maybe I should!

 

The urge building inside as I hear you asking once more

 

"Are you alive?"

 

 

Covering my ears, I am not supposed to hear. Fight you I must, after all this is a friendship one should never trust. Unwillingly I make my way towards you, to the place where I know you lay and wait,

Constantly calling my name…

 

Coming to a complete halt in front of your tempting domain, staring at the scars you gave. Reluctantly knowing that you would always be a part of my life

 

As I once again,

Pathetically

Gave in to you cries

Author's Note

I was staring at a blank screen, trying to figure out what was going on inside my head and this was the end product. Just some insane ramblings which probably doesn't make much sense but needed to be said. I didn't edit or alter this in any way, so feel free to rip apart what ever you want. I just needed release...

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

This was so deep I t caused my head to ache a bit as I over thought all the different possibilities of what could have been running through your mind and I must say this was a wonderfully amazing journey that this piece took me on. As I found myself lost in thoughts and ideas. It it's always a pleasure to have you take my mind on a walk with your words. I really enjoyed this and all the different styles that took place all in one piece of writing.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Funny, I got the feeling this was an inanimate object, rosary beads, a St. Christopher medallion, a crucifix or something that had a comforting effect to the wearer. I myself, wear a cruxifix 24/7 and don't even take it off to shower. I know it is superstitious and only a piece of silver jewalry but I continue to wear it. At any rate, this was a wonderful write.

[R J Askew]

There is a frantic intensity about this...with the 'Are you alive' being a very intense part. It is fascinating how you describe your friendship as always there...you seem to rue it yet need it simultaneously. All kinds of questions stem from it, too. Fascinating stuff.

[Nick Erickson]

Once again, you weave a tale so vivid and imaginative.
You lead off letting me think of another in your life, then my mind moves another direction, thinking...
is it you?
Well done!!

[The Tao of Bri]

Soemtimes things need to be purged so later they can be understood.. i have written things like that and after three years or so.. i look back and go...AHA!!! OHHHH!!! DER~~~! I liked this piece a lot for many reasons.. I surely have been there before for one... A love you cannot explain and may not be good for you or may...one never knows..

[Jason Nuciola]

i love it

[Natasha Ashway]

Nice ramblings - to inspire more :-). I find so many interpretations to what this piece means to me. I think about complicated and dark relationships I've had with others, and then I think of dark and complicated relationships I've had with parts of myself. All your feelings mean something, explore the labyrinth, inside yourself and inside others like me who identify. I don't want to go off in tangents, everything is self-explanatory.
I only wonder about the dark and complicated relationships I hold on to, almost because I must, as if they do complete me, and I'd be distraught without the balance. What's the measure of healthy and unhealthy anyway? Some things I let go for good, some things I let go only to take back in with ten times more the need. I love my angel(s), but boy to I love my devil(s) too! Equal measure.
Sometimes I need to bleed just to know I'm alive.

Well your 'insane ramblings' were very nice and I liked the way you flowed them off into a kinda of wave effect. I really liked it.

[Candle in the wind]

I am dumbstruck, there are tears in my eyes , just how could you write this so very uncanny I can't believe it, only thing that doesn't apply is the wicked knowing laugh as the character is not evil or there was no design- that makes it worse!That it wells up from within is obvious or else it not have struck such a chord in my heart across boundaries