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Pokemon Script:
[Before Video]
Gene: Welcome young trainee's of the new Pokemon Revolution. I'm Professor Gene , ... [everyone introduces themselves.] We'd like to thank you all for coming to this afternoons seminar: "Trainers And Stress". First, I would like to define stress. Stress is a response to discrepancy between the normal, steady state of a person and changed conditions in the environment. Stress is divided into 3 physiological states or general adaptation syndrome; alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Now, as a new trainer, I just want everyone to know that once you are on that Pokemon Battlefield, you WILL feel stress. Whether you're facing off against a level 100 Charizard, Or watching you're beloved Jiggly Puff take a HYDRO PUMP to the face... Pokemon Battle's are NO JOKE. Today we have put together a dramatization of what one particular trainer, Ash Ketchum goes through. He is once of the most successful trainers in the pokemon universe and we'll show you his personality and how HE deals with stress.
[Start Video]
Professor Oak: We find our heroes entering Veridian City. On another exciting Pokemon adventure! Ash Ketchum is accompanied by his friends, Brock and Misty. They're heading over to Veridian Cities gym to duke with the gym leader for a poke badge!
[Ash, Misty, and Brock walk by each others sides.]
Misty: Ash, I'm kind of hungry. Can't we stop somewhere to eat first?
Ash: SHUT UP MISTY! I'm pumped for the next battle! [Ash displays his eagerness by flailing his arms around and jumping up and down like a boxer getting ready for a fight. Should we play "eye of the tiger?"]
Brock: But I'm kind of hungry too Ash...
Ash: NO, First we're going to go through the fight, and THEN we'll eat. I've been waiting for this for a long time. I'm ready to WIN AND PROVE THAT I AM THE VERY BEST!
Brock: Dude, calm down. It's just a poke badge, it's not going anywhere...
Ash: DON'T TRY TO CRUSH MY PRIDE RIGHT NOW BROCK, I'M IN THE ZONE!!!!
Professor Oak: [Camera goes on him] Ladies and Gentlemen; if you haven't noticed yet. Our Hero, Ash Ketchum, has what we call a type A personality. Trainers who have a type A personality exhibit competitiveness, impatience, aggressiveness, and hostility. They are more likely to encounter stressful scenarios and perceive events as more stressful than they actually are. These types of people risk cardio-related problems and are more likely to be targets of high anxiety and neurotic ism. [Smokes his pipe] However, it is this personality that makes Ash Ketchum one of the leagues best trainers today! Too bad he risks having a heart attack sooner... [looks down sadly and shakes his head]
[Back to the group]
Brock: [Sighs] Whatever you say Ash. Let's just make this quick then.
Misty: Yeah... I gotta use the little girls room too... [Does the "pee dance"]
[Suddenly TEAM ROCKET pops out from behind some bushes, laughing evilly!]
James: WELL, WELL. If it isn't the runts and their WONDERFUL pokemon that we are going to STEAL.
Jessie: Why yes James, it is! It looks like today's our lucky day! [The two of them laugh like morons]
Ash: Man... not these idiots again... you'd think they'd give up already... where's your cat thing?
Jessie: Meowth? I don't know... he was going to some asian restaurant and he hasn't come back since...
James: Forget him right now! We're going to ANNIHILATE YOU AND STEAL YOUR PIKACHU!
Misty: These guys have more hardiness than a Metapod...
Brock: Yeah, but their stubbornness almost reminds me of Ash...
Ash, James, And Jessie Together: [Looks offended and screams out at Brock and Misty] HARDINESS? What's that?!
Professor Oak: [Camera goes on him while he's on the cellphone] NO, THAT ISN'T MY GIRLS GONE WILD TAPE HONEY! [Looks up at the camera] ARGH! I'll call you back! [Hangs up cell phone and clears his throat and peps up] I'm glad you asked that! Hardiness is a trait that describes individuals who, although exposed to high levels of stress daily,[His cellphone ring tone goes off as he speaks but he ignores it and keeps talking.] are seemingly unaffected nor do they show physiological discomfort or poor physical health.[picks up his cell phone, keeping the smile on his face] HONEY, FOR PETE'S SAKE I'LL CALL YOU BACK! [hangs up and regains composure] Ash shows hardiness since he battles everyday and has been put in several situations where he fights for his pokemon and friends with all his heart... how admirable... [Fake cries a little as his cell phone starts ringing again]
[Back to the group]
[Team Rocket throw their pokemon out in excitement]
James: GO WEEZING! POISON THOSE CHILDREN LIKE SECOND HAND SMOKE!
Jessie: EKANS! BITE THEIR EYES OUT AND STUFF!
[Ash and Brock toss out their own pokemon]
Brock: Go Geo Dude!
Ash: PIKACHU! THUNDER BOLT!
[Clips of Pikachu and Geo Dude doing attacks are shown and team rocket being blasted into the sky, then it goes back to the group.]
Misty: SERIOUSLY, I'm going to potty in my pants if we don't get going, NOW.
Ash: [Points forward all dramatically] ADVANCE!!!
[Ash dashes off camera. Misty and Brock just look at each other and sigh]
Brock: What're we doing with our lives...
[Back to Proffessor Oak who's in a speedo, tanning in the sun]
Professor Oak: [On his cellphone] ... so, I said to him, 'That's not a dying cow! That's my MOM!" [Laughs for a minute and then glances up at the camera] What? We're filming?! OH! [tosses his cellphone onto the grass] Ash deals with stress best by using optimism! After winning a battle, Ash feels good about it and feels like he can win it all with the help of his pokemon friends! High optimism is correlated to problem focused strategies, acceptance, and a lack of distancing or denial of problem. Ash know's that with a strong spirit and cunning attacks, he can rise to the top as the best pokemon trainer! Let's compare Ash's Optimism to ex-trainers who've lost to Ash. They have what we like to call "hopelessness!" [Big Smile]
[Single Camera on Trainer 1]
Trainer 1: After losing to Ash Ketchum, I feel like... I'm worthless and I could never be better than him. Now I just sit in the corner of my room... and play Dashboard Confessional albums while crying to myself. I hate my life. I can't change it. I suck as a pokemon trainer. I shouldn't have been born...WHY GOD, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL CLEFAIRY!!!! [Proceeds to cry, blasting Dashboard confessional song in the background.]
Proffessor Oak: [Smiling as happy as can be] Wow! Glad I'm not that guy... with his LOW self esteem, he's probably acting against coping methods which would lead him to more self criticism, a generalization of his problems, and a higher feeling of inadequancy... UNLIKE ASH! [laughs at the emo trainer who is standing by him, crying]
[The scene switches to Ash and the gym leader about to duel]
Ash: My Self Esteem is so high right now, NO ONE CAN STOP ME! I can handle any stress you have to offer!
Gym leader, Hitler look-alike: [Corny Evil Laugh] You swine! Once I beat you, I will crush your self esteem, making it lower! After THAT you'll have to lead to methods of coping, such as self derogation and the use of downward social comparison as a defense mechanism!
Brock: What the hell is he talking about...
Misty: Well Brock, if you didn't know, Self-esteem is an important part of being a good trainer. If Ash didn't have good self esteem, he would fail!
Brock: So this Hitler guy is trying to stress him out and lower his chances of battling good. It's like, a psywave attack... except... psychological...
Misty: For lack of a better metaphor, yes. However, a person with high self esteem who experiences a failure can use Self Enhancement to convince themselves that they are better. There are different ways of coping with it.
Brock: [Looks back to the battle] WAIT MISTY! IT'S ABOUT TO BEGIN!
[Ash and Hitler battle using their three pokemon using clips from the show]
Ash: You almost won Hitler! That was a good fight!
Hitler: [After the well fought battle] I have lost... I didn't even get to perform my Final Solution...
Ash: Good thing you didn't... Because... I'm real bad at math! Get it? Final Solution? Math?
[All of them, including Hitler start laughing together]
Hitler: Oh Ash! You're so funny! You're going to be the very best for sure!
Ash: [Camera zooms in on him] I know. I know. [Big smile]
[End of Film]
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