Tearless Tears Silent Sobs

There was a time where You'd said "I love you" so many times

A Time where You kissed or hugged me for no reason

A Place we shared dreams and hopes

A Place we called our own

Now The only times i have are my lonely days

Now the only place i call my own it my wet cold pillow


My silent sobs filled my room and my tear less tears wet my pillow...

I wake up to the dull sun and go down the hallway just to see you happily married with my sister...

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[alesuriko]

Okay criticism first... "You'd said" is not grammatically correct, it should be "You'd say" or "You said" not a combination. "I call my own it my wet cold pillow"... "it" should be "is". "and my tear less tears"... "tear less" should be all one word = "tearless". There are also "i"s that must be capitalized.

Otherwise, good display of emotion. The rhythm and flow wasn't that good but it was decent enough. People can connect to it at least, probably not the married to my sister part but that's good over-exaggeration to express deep emotion.